


Q the Fall

by waffleO



Category: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Asexuality, Bond the matchmaker, Dubious Consent, F/M, Rough Sex, We'll get to MI6 I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-05-27 12:37:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 27,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6284827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waffleO/pseuds/waffleO
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>osokunakte gomen (sorry im late)<br/>iya, daijoubu (its fine no worries)<br/>ano...sono kagi… (um...that key...[why do you have it?])<br/>ishoni ikimashoka (shall we go together?) {Note: the flow is a bit stilted here because his proficiency is not yet there enough to explain up to this point}<br/>Eh? Doko?” (huh? where?)<br/>Watashitachi wa...honto ni tomodachi? (are we really friends?)</p>
        </blockquote>





	1. 1

August

Ellyss chewed her lower lip absently as she scanned the lobby for the umpteenth time and readjusted herself on the too small seat with an annoyed huff.  Her roommate had recently put up an ad to teach English and had raked in a considerable amount of cash and even found a job through it.  Considering their majors coincided rather well, she thought it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try herself.  After posting an ad on their university classifieds website, she got a reply within the hour asking not for English help but help in Japanese.  That was a surprise.  She had mentioned her area of study off-handedly in her ad more to show that she wouldn’t be put off by tendencies that weren’t ‘ American’ so to speak, but the mailer was willing to pay even more for the help so she accepted. 

She felt her phone go off in her plaid shorts and fished it out.

<Sorry. The bus is caught behind traffic.> August 31 5:00 pm

She let out a huff and typed back: 

<np, I’ll be in the lobby.  Look for someone in a black shirt and plaid shorts.> August 31 5:01 pm 

Ellyss didn’t bother reading the message they sent back, opting to pull up a web comic and wait.

\-----

Twenty minutes later, she was greeted with the sound of panting on the other side of her table.  She looked up, trying to mask the severe annoyance of being forced to wait and was greeted by a very pale young man.

His cheeks were flushed and his mouth slack as he sucked in air.  The navy sweater he wore all but swallowed him.  He raised a hand and she took it, noticing the thinness of his fingers as she shook it.

“Hello, I apologize for my lateness.  I’m Jared.”

She nodded slowly, his voice was crisp and something she could categorize as velvety, posh.  “Hiya, my name’s Ellyss.”

He smiled politely and gripped the strap of his messenger bag tightly.   “So…”

She blinked.  “Right, sorry.  Ahm, I thought we could spend our first meeting hammering out the details.  Like when we’re going meet, for how long...”

He nodded.  “Right, sounds good.”

Ellyss gestured to the seat across from her.  “Or did you want to go to one of the higher floors?”

He shook his head, jostling the mop of dark curls that topped his head.  “No, no this is fine.”  He sat in the chair with a grace both clumsy, and elegant and she found it odd that such an oxymoron could actually exist.

She learned he was actually a grad student; though he looked no older than a freshman. He was studying at the informatics school for his semester abroad.  He was from England and lived in London and from how he spoke of it, he dearly missed being there.  He was studying Japanese because he was bored of European languages that he’d studied prior. Something, she mentioned, they shared in common.  The more he spoke the more she found that he was rather adorable and had no problem saying as much.

He fixed his framed glasses and let out a dismissive huff which made her smile widely.

“I’m sorry, I often forget that guys don’t like to be called adorable.”

“Especially when they’re older than you.”

She blinked.  “Wait, what?”

“I _ am _ thirty-one.”

“Oh. Grad student?” She chewed her lip contemplatively but decided not venture further, his age seemed to be a dangerous topic.  “I’m guessing that you’re in the first year of Japanese?”

He dug through his messenger bag and fished out a familiar orange book.  “Precisely.  The semester has only begun and I feel rather at a loss about certain topics.”  He flipped to the first chapter.  “I understand the writing system, but speaking it is very difficult…”

\----

What should have been an introduction and small talk turned into a three hour tutoring session and Ellyss told her roommate just as much when she slumped onto the couch with an exaggerated sigh, to which her evil roommate merely laughed.  

“He has perfect scores in reading and writing,” she continued, ignoring the other woman.  “He just can’t speak it for the life of him.  I spent most of the time trying to get him to pronounce words without saying every syllable.”  She pinched the bridge of her nose.  “I wanna die…”

“How much did he pay you?” Kathryn tucked a loose strand of auburn curl behind her ear, only for it to spring back defiantly.

“I told him ten an hour would be fine but he said he’d pay me thirty if I gave all my time for tutoring to him alone.  Apparently he’d been trying various people but didn’t like any of them until me.”

She sat up at that, “You mean you made ninety dollars off of him?!”

Ellyss nodded.  “I feel like I’m robbing him.  I know it’s what I'm here to learn: how to teach Japanese, but…” 

“What’s he look like?”

“He’s taller than me but thin as a bean.  He’s paler than you, practically transparent.  His face…” she trailed off in thought.  “Boyish, but his hipster glasses and grandpa fashion help mask his blatant youth.”

“Is he hot?”

“Elegant, handsome.”  Ellyss stood, subject all but forgotten.  “We should get food.”


	2. Chapter 2

Early September

“Rda.”

“Ra.”

“Rda.”

“Rr—” Jared clenched and unclenched his fists.

“There are a lot of people who can’t say it.”

“But I  _ want _ to.”  He was clearly pouting.

Ellyss smiled gently.  “Why?”

His eyebrows knitted. “Why would I want to be able to properly speak a language? Are you honestly asking me this?”

“Perfectionist.”

“You can only say that because you know how to say ‘ra’.”  He scowled and his cheeks flushed with frustration.  “I refuse to quit.”

“Good.” She rested her hands on either side of his.  “The best way I can put ‘rda’ is to consider the letters ‘r’ and ‘d’ are fucking each other.”

His expression went blank, clearly surprised by the metaphor.

“What?” she asked innocently.

He opened his mouth, thought better of what he was going to say and stopped.  “…rda.”

She grinned. “Metaphor.”

He smirked. “Are you quoting movies now?”

Ellyss simply shrugged. “Eighty percent of my dialogue is a reference to a movie, song or book.”

“I see…” He smiled to himself and she noticed the ruby of his lips as his tongue darted across them. “Well then, shall we continue?”

\-----

“Sou desuka…”

Ellyss watched happily as her student pondered fluidly without dicing up the syllables. “Perfect!”  It had been about three weeks now and she found herself spending a great deal of time in Jared’s company.  His speaking skills were improving rapidly. “I doubt you’ll be needing me for much longer,” she complimented as she shouldered her bag, getting ready to leave.

“What makes you say that? We learn a lot rather quickly, I doubt I’ll be able to do this by myself.”

“Once you have the basics down, the rest will come easy.”

“Are you ending our verbal contract then?”

She shook her head. “No, just saying soon I’ll be more so your conversation partner than your tutor.  When that happens, I won’t let you pay me as much.” She raised a hand, prepared for his protesting.  “I will still give you all my time; fret not.”

He pursed his lips in thought.  “I was wondering if you might be willing to give me even more of your time.  Say…this weekend?”

She blinked at that.  _ Was he..? Probably not... _ .  “Have an exam coming up?”

Rose dusted his cheeks.  “N-no, I meant dinner, maybe a movie?”

She didn’t try to hide the surprise plastered on her face.  She searched his hazel eyes, looking for the punchline.  “Like a…date?”

His smile faltered for the briefest second. “If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t,” she said slowly, feeling the alien words coming off her tongue.  “But I should tell you…” She started to say but couldn’t bring herself to finish.  “I prefer movies with loud explosions and flimsy storylines,” she supplied haphazardly.

“I expected as much.” His eyes took on a feel she hadn’t seen directed at her before, but she would recognize it anywhere.  Fondness.  


	3. Chapter 3

They ended up going to a noodle shop.  Jared wanted to practice his Japanese only to find that the entire staff spoke either English or Chinese.

“Maybe I should have taken Chinese,” he pondered sulkily.  “It’s more practical than Japanese.”

“My roommate is taking Chinese and she says the Brits who take it suffer daily.  The tones alone would’ve had you wanting to die,” Ellyss countered.

“Is that why you didn’t take it?”

She took a bite of her dumpling.  “No, there’s just nothing there that I want.  A lot of the stuff I like happens to be Japanese is all.”

“Yet you’re studying to teach it.  It would go without saying that you would be stuck in America then.”

“I intend to teach English in Japan.  I'm getting certified to teach English as well.” 

“Ah.” He rested his rested his chin on his left hand and poked at his dumplings with his chopsticks.  “You have a lot figured out.”

She snorted at that. “ _ Hardly _ . I’m just going where my program takes me at this point. Up until recently, I wasn’t even sure I  _ wanted _ to teach Japanese, but…” She looked at Jared with a small smile. “Then I met you.”

The surprise on his face was evident as rouge swept up his cheeks from his neck. Ellyss couldn’t begin to control the giggles that escaped her mouth. He seemed very much offended.

“Sorry, honest. I just never thought a man could be so goddamn  _ cute _ .” Before he could get a word in edgewise she added, “I like that about you.” It was a simple declaration, but she realized the implications the moment she saw his eyes soften just so.

Before he could say anything, their waitress came by and the mood was lost. 

\------------

“How  _ could _ they?!”

Jared looked to the woman next to him. She was fuming.

“I mean—they spent so many movies subtly declaring that Black Widow and Hawk Eye would be endgame!”

He pursed his lips as he held back a laugh. “Is it really so bad? I rather liked, what was his name? Banner.”

“Well yeah, he’s a hot nerdy dork but that’s beside the point,” she quickly dismissed.

He quirked an eyebrow at that.  _ Is that what she finds attractive? A muscular genius? _ The thought made him feel uncomfortable within his lanky frame.

“And Pietro! That death made NO SENSE!”

Jared was jerked out of his thoughts. “That’s true. Judging by the speed of bullets fired from the handgun and the ones fired from the helicopter—” He stopped when it was evident by her expression that it was the last thing she wanted to hear at that moment. “They killed the wrong twin,” he finished.

“Exactly. I vow revenge.” Her eyes lit up. “They didn’t show his grave! He could still be alive!”

“Doubtful,” he muttered. He laughed this time when she glared at him.  “Calm down; it’s only a movie.”

“You wound me, Jared.” She stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets.  “The fact that these don’t bother you is confusing.”

“Should they?”

“They tore up a lot of character development.”

“’Development’? In an  _ action _ movie?”

She cocked her head, confusion in her chocolate eyes. “There were like seven or so movies before this one.”

“H-how many?”

Understanding dawned on her. “Oh, Jared. Don’t worry, I’ll fix you.”

“I'm sorry?”

She checked her watch. “It’s only 11, are you busy tomorrow?”

He had a twenty page lab and an eight page paper due Monday. “No.” He wanted to kick himself but the way she lit up stopped him.

“Yes! We can start watching all of them.” She held up her hands as if to stop him from uttering a complaint he never intended to give. Did he really complain  _ that _ much? “It’ll take a good while, so if you want, we can start tomorrow.”

“Or?” He forced the word past his lips.

“We can start tonight. The buses don't run late enough for you to head home after one movie, so you’d have to stay the night.” 

He gave pause, giving her a chance to back out of it, but she didn’t seem to see the social implications her invitation implied.  He sighed.  _ Am I even a male to her? _ “Sounds good to me. Shall we?

\----------------

Her place was surprisingly good sized.  A two story town with two bedrooms. Jared stepped into the town. The living room was in full view and there were books  _ everywhere _ . The coffee table was covered in papers, glass bottles and books.  What free wall space there was, bookshelves swallowed and held books and videogames well past their capacity. 

“Sorry about the mess,” Ellyss tossed over her shoulder as she went past the living room and too the dining room.

“Organized chaos,” a voice shouted from the top of the stairs near the doorway.

Jared peeked the stairs to see an auburn haired petite woman in a t shirt and men’s boxers. She trotted down the stairs and stood before him. “Hey. I'm her roommate, (friend, social norm pointer-outer) Kathryn.”

He shook the hand she held out as she assessed him. He had at least five inches on her but even still he felt a little unsettled. “Jared.”

“Figured.” She smiled a knowing smile. “Let me guess, she invited you back without consideration to social norms.”

His eyebrows raised. “Yes…does she…?”

“Do this often?” Kathryn finished. “No. You’re the first guy she’s brought back, but definitely not the first to flirt with her.”

“Ah.” He smiled all the same. “I doubt what I’ve been doing could be taken as flirting considering where I am right now.”

“If it makes you feel better, she never notices anything. You gotta be straight out, she’s a bit of a protagonist.”

He laughed at that. “So I’ve noticed.” Something brushed his leg and he jerked with a start.  It was a cat.  Pure white except for a grey spot on its face and a grey tail.

“You’re not allergic to cats are you?” Kathryn asked apologetically.

“No not at all.” He crouched down and scratched under her chin. He read the name aloud with a laugh. “AiAi Destroyer of Worlds.”

“If you two are done talking,” Ellyss spoke, drawing their attention. “I would like to start.”

“Start?” Kathryn asked.

“This man saw Age of Ultron with me without seeing the other movies beforehand, and I must fix him.”

Kathryn dropped their conversation. “You must fix him.” She steered him to the sofa and sat him, judging by the blankets and piles of Chinese book on the table, her side of the couch and stepped away. “Well. I have work tomorrow, so you kids have fun.”

“I am absolutely positive I’m older than you.”

“And I’m positive you should be thanking me,” she shot back cockily.  She reached past him and grabbed the blanket off the top of the couch. “I know you’re probably cold but I don’t lend my blankies to strangers, though honestly with all that I’ve heard about you I feel like I already know you.”

He blinked at that. “Wait, she  _ talks _ about me?”

Before she could respond Ellyss plopped down next to him with a white Playstation Controller in hand. “Less talky more movie.” She shooed Kathryn away and settled into the sofa.  

It wa snug enough that if they touched it wouldn’t be anyone’s fault yet he still found himself trying his damndest not to be the one to initiate it.  He had already managed to get into her house after their first, the last thing he wanted was to ruin things by being seen as a creeper.  He didn’t have to fret long though as a shiver ran through his body.

“Oh, sorry. We like a cold house so we usually keep the heat off.”  Ellyss pulled a white throw from her side and draped over the both of them. “If you don’t mind sharing…”

“Not at all.” He kicked himself for sounding overly eager.  But calmed when a relieved smile crossed Ellyss’ features. Did she think he’d reject her? 

She tucked her legs up on the sofa cushions after kicking off her shoes.  Her toes grazed his thigh and it took all he had not to jump, but she must have felt him tense all the same.  An apology was clearly on her lips when he picked up her feet and laid them across his lap.

He ignored his pounding heart. “Better?”

Her lips were pursed but she nodded sheepishly. “Yeah… Um, could you get the light?”

He looked to the lamp to his left and twisted the knob till it clicked off.  “So, which one’s first?”


	4. Chapter 4

Ellyss felt like she was fire.  She hadn’t felt this much heat since early summer.  It made her uncomfortable. She started to move and felt flesh, she froze.  Her eyes shot open to see a dark living room.  She must’ve been out for a while then.  She didn’t think about that much further though as her hands began to roam the heat beneath her.  It was Jared.  

She didn’t jump up immediately though.  Ellyss stared in wonder honestly.  She found that she was between his legs, the right one hanging off the sofa, and using his torso as a pillow.  As slim as he was, it had been comfortable and considering he was still out like a light, the position hadn’t bother him in the slightest.  He was furnace though.   She felt unbelievably parched.

She stared at that situation mistified.  It had been ages since she was this comfortable, but she knew she had to move anyway.  They might have had something along the lines of a date, but she doubted they were at the point of skinship, even if he let her rest her feet on his lap.  She moved to pull away and his arms circled her waist.  It took serious effort not to lay into him and go back to sleep and she found that he had a surprisingly strong grip too...that she actually couldn’t get out of without rousing him.  Though she wondered if he was a heavy sleeper to begin with.  If she were in his situation, she’dve woken up by now.

Ellyss let out a sigh. 

“Jared,” she whispered.  

Nothing.

She put more force into her rocking . “Jaaarrrreeed.”

Still nothing.

She let out a huff and pinched his nose closed just enough to throw his breathing off and he jolted upright.  His arms didn’t leave her though so she found herself nearly in his lap with her thighs on either side of him.  His movements were beginning to slow again so she spoke quickly.

“You are a severe bitch to wake up, you know that?”

“I don’t get much sleep, so my body takes it when it can get it…” he trailed off.  She felt him tense, but slowly he untangled himself from her.  He cleared his throat. “How that happened I am very unsure.”

“Old habits probably,” she muttered more to herself than to him.  If he was curious about the implication, he didn’t show it.  Instead, he pulled out his phone.

“Wow it’s rather late.”

It was five am. “Or very early.”

“What movie were we on.”

“Hulk.”

“Two out of seven.  That is a very failing grade.” 

“Tell me about it,” Ellyss grinned.  “There’s always next time.” She stretched and stifled a yawn.  “We should start earlier so we don’t fall asleep as quickly.”

“I rather liked that though, falling asleep.”  His voice was soft enough that she was unsure if she should have heard that. 

She snuck a glance and found that yes, she was meant to.  “Me...too,” she tripped out.  

“Good. Because I’d like to do more of that, if you’ll let me.” His voice of low and soothing. Weather or not it was due to his sleepy state Ellys didn’t know.  His arms slowly circled around her waist and pulled her forward slightly, as if asking for permission.

Heart pounding in her ears, she allowed and found her head being tucked into the curve of his neck again.  His heart was beating just as fast she realized and took pleasure in it.  Slowly though, his heart rate began to calm and soon he was asleep again with even breaths that eventually put her back under.

\----------

October

Ellys chewed her lip in thought.  Jared was swamped with grad work these days and they hadn’t managed to get a time down for the next attempt at the movie marathon.  It had been fun and she even got a decent amount of sleep out of it. She figured he couldn’t have been too annoyed at the turn of events as he was becoming  really touchy; brushing against her or touching her arms and shoulders from time to time.  It often caught her by surprise and more often than not she’d found herself tensing or jerking away.  She hated that about herself. She wanted to scrub her memories away because of it, especially the expression Jared made when it happened.  This is what Ellyss was thinking about when Jared popped up for his tutoring session and plopped a pair of car keys on the table with a loud clank.

“osokunakte gomen”

She jumped from her thoughts.  She hadn’t even noticed he was late, but judging by his flushed face, he had run again. “iya, daijoubu,” she quickly dismissed before looking to the key on the table. “ano...sono kagi…”

He sat down with a grin. “ishoni ikimashoka?”

She stared at him taken aback. Had they made plans? “Eh? Doko?”

His grin turned sheepish. “Ah...I…” He cleared his throat. “I realized that I don’t have time like I did earlier in the semester when we could just go do things, so I thought...since you’re more my conversation partner than tutor these days that we could....”

Her eyes widened in realization.  “I couldn’t take money from you if all we did was hang out.  I’d have to find someone else to---”

“But it’s what I, the person who’s paying you, wants.” His voice was wavering in the face of the possibility rejection.  He must have been thinking about this alot. “I...I don’t see the problem.”

“It doesn’t feel right--I mean..!” Ellyss grasped for words to fit her emotions.  “It feels like--like I’m taking advantage of our friendship.”

His expression went blank.  Jared bit his lower lip as he leaned back in his chair.  “Watashitachi wa...honto ni tomodachi?”

She stared at him in shock. “Mochiron.” She looked at her hands resting on table. “Unless...you don’t want to be friends.”

“No. I don’t.”

His words cut surprisingly deep for someone she’d only known for three and half months.  “I see...I understand. I can be rather...irritating after all.”

“Ellyss?” He seemed confused but she didn’t want to look at him to be sure. “What are going on about?” She moved to stand and he touched her hand.  When she didn’t pull it away, he took it gently in his.  “Goodness Kathryn was right when she said how dense you are.” He cleared his throat.  “When we slept together on that couch, I thought I had made my intent clear but…Ellyss, will you look at me? Please?”

She tilted her head back, willing the pricks of tears to go back, but they refused and she had resign herself to looking like a pathetically kicked puppy.  His expression looked pained and she hated herself for causing it.

“I want you to see me as a possible…” rouge blossomed along his features. “As a possible romantic interest.  Something deeper than friendship.” He sucked in a shaky breath. “Can you do that for me?”

She felt her body go rigid because this could not be happening this could not be happening this could not be happening this could not be happening this could not be happening this could not FUCKING be happening! Ellyss will herself to sit because she was seconds from falling.

After moments of shallow breathing she managed to push out a word. “Why?”

She heard the smile in his voice. “Because I like you.” When she didn’t respond he felt compelled to ask. “Why are you so surprised? Was my flirting really that unnoticable?”

“It’s not that...I’ve just been in a similar situation before and...it didn’t go well he was like how you are but also had someone important and I couldn’t do that touch is too intimate for what we were doing not to be considered anything but showing interest and I---”

“Ellyss, _breath_.”

She did and she started coughing and it was bad because was she really going spill her worst fears at a table in a library lobby to the first man she began to feel since him?

“Breath. Just breath.”

She did. She calmed. She could think again. “I’m asexual.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> osokunakte gomen (sorry im late)  
> iya, daijoubu (its fine no worries)  
> ano...sono kagi… (um...that key...[why do you have it?])  
> ishoni ikimashoka (shall we go together?) {Note: the flow is a bit stilted here because his proficiency is not yet there enough to explain up to this point}  
> Eh? Doko?” (huh? where?)  
> Watashitachi wa...honto ni tomodachi? (are we really friends?)


	5. Chapter 5

Jared stared at Ellyss.  Ellyss, the sturdy immovable, non-judging, overly accepting, social norms negating woman he fell for was crumbling in front of him.  What's more, she spat out her sexuality like it was a curse bent on destroying her.  He wanted to find whoever made her feel this way and destroy him.  

It must’ve been recent judging by how fresh it all seemed coming out her mouth, so he had to be college student but it seemed they had history so possibly she knew him before..?  He could probably find out. Hack her facebook account, go through her friends list and look for it.  Destroy his future with the stroke of key...But Ellyss was leaving so he couldn’t deduce because he felt if he let her leave now he would never see her again.

“Ellyss , please don’t leave it like this.”

She stopped walking.

“Can we please talk about this?”

She turned to him slowly. “What needs talking about?”

He took in her trembling body and pursed lips.  She seemed moments from shattering. “I’ve been in this country long enough to understand why you feel this way. Why you feel like I wouldn’t want to date you.”  He swallowed hard, pushing himself to pick his words with utmost care.  “Before you ask, yes I like sex. I like it a lot. I’ve thought about what I want to do to you from the time, location and the position.” He told himself to ignore that he was in a library lobby--a bloody PUBLICLY PUBLIC library lobby and refused to acknowledge that he must be beet red.  “But I’ve also thought about how to coax you into enjoying me more.  To not flinch if I draped my arm over your shoulder, or if I hugged you, if I kissed you.” 

Her eyes were trying to look anywhere but him but she wasn’t trembling anymore.  He took a step closer, and another till they were a breaths apart from each other. “Ellyss, please.” He slowly drew his hand to her cheek and pulled her eyes to him. “Please.”

He watched as emotions flitted across her eyes. They ranged from confusion to surprise but mostly just pain. He pulled her into a hug and felt relief when her hands found anchor in his jumper. 

“Okay.”


	6. Chapter 6

November

The fall happened rather quickly after that.  Ellyss had always considered touch no matter how friendly or intimate to be the cultivator of affection.  Jared seemed to have become of aware of it as well after their first impromptu movie marathon failed she realized, and more so now after their movie style confession scene.

“So which is next after Hulk?” Jared asked as he slumped into the couch along the wall.

“Iron Man 2” she responded with a bit of confusion directed at his choice of sitting location.

He smiled lazily as he stretched out along it and pat the space in between his legs.  Ellyss found herself being immensely grateful for her darker skin as she would have otherwise been as red a tomato. She followed his instruction though and nestled in between his legs. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder.

“Okay?” he asked in a hushed voice that made a shiver run down her spine.

“Very.” He laughed and she pressed ‘play’.

\-------

“I’m starting to think that you’re falling asleep on purpose,” Ellyss prodded as she took a fry from their shared basket.

“However else would I get into your house?” he teased back.

“I don’t know, through the door?” She pursed her lips. “They’re not boring you are they?”

His brows furrowed. “No not at all. I just don’t get sleep very often and when I’m lounging with you I end up falling asleep. Probably because of less stress.” He nodded thanks to the waitress when she placed their milkshakes on the table.

“Ah.” She slurped hers in thought.

“Yes, it would seem I’m very comfortable around you,” he remarked fondly.

“And I you,” she said without hesitation. She saw the pleased smile touch Jared’s lips before he bit into his burger and found herself feeling that this just might work.

\-------

Jared stopped drinking his whiskey.  Why Ellyss wanted to drink at her apartment over youtube videos tonight he had no idea.  Maybe it was for a change of pace. Maybe she needed something to help push words out of her. He did not expect those words to be: “I like being pinned down.”

Before he could even begin to answer her statement she continued.

“Forced against walls, thrown into beds, being manhandled…”

He tilted his head to the side in thought. “Do you... _want_  me to do these things to you?”

She nodded sheepishly. “Yeah.”

He stared at her for moment.  Kathryn had told him earlier that day Ellyss was by no means a lightweight.  Alcohol simply destroyed what little knowledge she had of what was a socially acceptable conversation and that she was very much in control of her faculties otherwise. He took a deep breath.

“That kind of thing usually leads to sex though.”

“It does,” she agreed. “But I have no desire for it. I do however have an interest in it.”

He raised an eyebrow at that. “How do you mean?”

She sat her glass down on the coffee table and turned to him.  “This will sound weird to you, but don’t judge.”

He nodded, but she didn’t seem satisfied with just that. “I promise not judge you aloud.”

Ellyss laughed at that. “So, I took a human sexuality class a few semesters ago.  I needed the credits to keep my scholarship and it seemed interesting at the time. Especially considering I was coming to terms with my sexuality.  We had a chapter on BDSM stuff which I already had decent knowledge of, I’ll tell you later why if you want. Anywho, there was this panel and there were a bunch of different kinds of people with varying interests and there was this woman there who was asexual and into play and I was so happy! I thought that since I was asexual I couldn’t be into that stuff because I had the thought that it was always sexual.  So anyway, we had do a book review and I picked one on BDSM because fuck yeah.  I fucking destroyed that book it was so good.  I started thinking about my interests within BDSM and found that I really enjoy feeling powerless within a relationship.  I hadn’t realized I was already riding that kind of high with that other guy until that moment either.”

Jared stiffened at his mentioned but nodded anyway. “Yes I understand that much, go on.”

“I realized feeling powerless and feeling pain were my greatest preference, and started looking into less...vanilla porn.”

He blinked. “You watch porn?”

“Well yeah, it’s really interesting, like those flimsy story lines are hilarious. Though I don’t get why people get so mad when someone they’re dating watches it. It’s no different than any other tv.”

He had to stifle a laugh at that. Social norms didn’t seem to stand a chance.  

“Though it was more so for that class than anything else,” she added as an afterthought. “So I searched the web for rougher sex because that’s what I found myself drawn towards and then I stumbled across actors doing something not so...consensual..?”

He froze. “Oh.”

“...yeah.  I found that that’s where my interest in sex...lies...so…” She reached for her drink but Jared stopped her.

“Ellyss...are you asking me to…”

She suddenly stood.  The shots she had taken caused her to stumble only the slightest. “I’m gonna go be anywhere else but here okay? Okay, bye.”

He could only watch as she climbed the stairs two by two up to what he guessed was her room from the sound of the door slamming.  He stared at his shot and took it, then hers and two more from the bottle.  What had he gotten himself into?

Jared finally sat the bottle down cursing himself for eating before they drank because it was doing nothing for him when he needed it the most. He didn’t even know how to react to a declaration like that. She wanted him to basically assault her. No not basically. He drummed his fingers against his knees, willing his mind to do its job and _think_.

When it seemed like that wasn’t going to happen, he forced himself to stand and walk up the stairs.


	7. Chapter 7

Ellyss’ room was her in a nutshell.  Sporadic.  The first thing he saw was the walls.  They were covered in posters ranging from Marvel to anime in a quilted sort of anarchy of color.  Bookshelves lined the walls and were stuffed beyond capacity. There was a mahogany desk in the corner placed at the foot of her bed facing the door.  The full sized bed in question was in a corner creating a sort of nook in where pillows dominated. 

Ellyss was burrowed under them and a grey and yellow comforter. 

He closed the door behind him and let a slow exhale.  “Hey.”

“No.”

“I know you’re embarrassed--”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” she finished. “I didn’t think I’d tell anyone that. Maybe I’m trying to scare you away,” her words were clear but her body was shaking.

“Showing me a basement filled with dead bodies would’ve been more effective.”

“Darn.”

He grinned at that. “But still, I never pegged you the type.”

“Oh? And what  _ did _ you peg me as?”

“Someone I could take apart piece by piece and maybe just maybe consider putting back together,” he found himself saying aloud for once. “At least until I learned you were asexual,” he added. “I don’t know why, but there’s just something about how rarely you stumble that makes me want to just...break you.” He couldn’t stop himself from speaking let alone getting onto the mattress. “You’re just so stubbornly aware of what you want to do and I--”

He blinked. When had he pulled the blanket off of her? When had he jerked her out of the pillows? More importantly, why was he on top of her holding her hands down with enough force to bruise? Maybe the alcohol was working afterall.

He watched the rise and fall of her chest with interest.  “Since we’re sharing tonight, I’ve always wanted to bite your throat,” he leaned into the vulnerable flesh of her jugular. “and. Just. Bite.” He sank his teeth in and was rewarded with a gasp. It quickly turned to a moan the deeper his teeth sank. 

He pulled away assessing the damage. There would have been blood if he had bit just a _little_  harder. He brushed the markings in wonder. “And you _want_  me to do these kinds of things to you?” He laughed. “We haven’t even kissed yet.”

“What’s stopping you?”

His vision began to lose focus. What _was_  stopping him? He pressed his lips to hers and hers were so _soft_. He bid her lips part with his tongue and robbed her of any expectation of oxygen before he got his fill. He jerked back at the thought, gasping for air.  It was too much too soon he was going to drown in this feeling.  He wanted. He wanted so much and she was handing it to him and this was too much.  He jerked when arms circled him. When had he let her go? 

“Jared, it’s okay. It’s okay.” She rubbed circles in his back and kissed the top of his head when he buried his face in her chest. “It’s okay, don’t force yourself.”

Was he forcing himself? He hadn’t lied once tonight. He wanted her. His fantasies weren’t always the most vanilla either. “I’m not forcing myself. I’m just...overwhelmed.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, ignoring how it jostled his glasses.  “How cognizant are you right now? Honestly?”

“Enough that I couldn’t blame alcohol if I wanted to.  Enough that this will be engrained in my mind for the rest of my life.” Her voice dropped to a whisper, “Enough that I want to get you drunk enough to forget.”

He gazed up at her. This close, he could see tinges of rose under her cheeks. He loved it.  He kissed the blooms and caught her lower lip in his teeth before sucking it along with the air from her lungs.  He could think later. Right now, he just wanted to taste and tell her that he wasn’t forcing himself in the slightest. He gripped her upper thighs and pulled them around his hips and rutted into her. He was so close to letting it all go. “I assure you, I am _not_  forcing myself to do what I am about to do you.”

He watched surprise dance on her features with a lazy smirk before rising enough to pin her bodily to the bed. He fingered the vest she wore. He was sure had more. She wore them so often and the clothes littering the floor confirmed this.  He took the fabric in hand and gave a wrenching pull till it tore.  “Green?”


	8. Chapter 8

Ellyss stared at Jared in confusion. This was a severely surprising turn of events. She hadn’t expected her confession to go anywhere actually. Jared was Jared. Kind, considerate and adorable.  These words did not fit the person currently between her legs and tearing her tank top to shreds.  She covered her chest instinctively though it didn’t last as he quickly ripped them out of the way and pinned them on either side of her. Her breaths came in sharp intakes at the sensory overload.

“Green?”

She opened eyes she hadn’t realized were shut. He peered at her curiously, waiting patiently. She nodded quickly.

“I haven’t repurposed your mouth just yet, use it.”

A shiver coursed through her at the thought. “Green.”

The smile he gave made her feel unbelievably cherished. “Good.” The green of his eyes was gone now, replaced with so much black. “Anything you don’t like?”

“I won’t like it if you stop.”

“Ellyss,” he said with a hint of warning.

“Don’t leave bruises where they can’t be hidden,” she managed.

“Understood.” His hands gripped her hips as he tucked his thumbs into the band of her shorts. “Anything else?”

“Can we please turn off the lights?”

His grin turned carnal at that. “But how will I see you?”

Before she could respond he pulled her shorts off underwear and all. She tried to close her legs but he was back in between them.  He simply stared at her. She wanted to be anywhere but under his eyes at that moment.

He cupped her face in his hands and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “The things I want to do to you.” His voice dropped lower. “Shall we begin?” He pressed one more kiss to her forehead before biting into her shoulder and grinding his body into hers.

Her mouth went slack at the pressure of his teeth. He let up only to keep going along her shoulder and down her arm. His nails dug into her hips with bruising pressure as he rutted against her. “Jared..!”

He kissed her till she felt close to fainting and laughed when she almost did. “Don’t black out on me now,” he prodded with a wicked grin. He pressed his lips to the line between her breasts and dragged his teeth down as his hands raked her back.

She let her back arch into his ministrations and was rewarded with sharp pull of her hair as he clamped down on her throat again. She heard the sound of zipper being undone and tried to peer down only for his teeth to sink deeper in retaliation.

“Who said you could move?” His voice had an annoyed edge.  His hand found her throat and quickly tightened its grip. His other hand moved down her body to his as he carefully slotted himself into her.

She jerked up at the sudden pressure and burn gasping for air as his hand found greater comfort around her throat. He rocked into her and she whimpered.

“Color?”

She could feel the burning pull of the muscles inside her as his member sought friction. “Gr…een…” she managed through shallow breaths.

Jared stared down at her all but transfixed as he started to build up a punishing pace.  When she tried to pull away from it he simply grabbed her hips and all but impaled her on himself.

Her body was slow to react and she felt like she was fire and there was nothing she could do about it. His hand forced her throat into a tighter and tighter vice. “Ja…ay…too...mu…” The feeling of it was becoming overwhelming.  It felt so very very perfect. “Sto…”

“All I hear is ‘harder’,” he quipped and did just that.

She saw small dots across her field of vision. They started to grow more and more till she saw nothing at all.

\-------

Ellyss blinked awake slowly.  She tried to sit only to find herself anchored down by arms.  She recognized the familiar heat and suspected it was the reason she was roused in the first place.  He wasn’t asleep this time though and released her the moment she started to move. She would have suspected everything to be a dream if not for the fact that she was only wearing a tshirt.

“Are you alright?”

She closed her eyes and opened them again.  His tone was as kind as ever, as he hadn’t been fulfilling her desires earlier that night. “Yeah, what happened?”

“You forgot to breath.” There was a smile in his voice. “I didn’t know I could have that effect on people.”

“Yeah, well don’t get too full of yourself just yet.” She pulled her knees close, wincing a bit at the bruises, and rested her chin on them.  “You seemed oddly relaxed for someone who was just using me as their chew toy.”

The room was dark, she must not have been out too long, but she knew he was blushing. “Sorry about that. It sort of came out of nowhere.”

She grinned. “It’s okay. You’re not the first person to bite me.”

He leaned in for a kiss. It was gentle and testing as if asking if he still could. She met him and danced easily enjoying the taste of him. “Hopefully it’ll only be me for a while.”

“I would strongly prefer this, yes,” she said bubbly.

He brushed his nose against hers as they pulled away. “I’m glad.” He reached behind her and turned on the lamp.

She let out a low hiss. “Jeez warn a person.”

“Sorry, just need to get a better look at you.” He took her face in his hands and tilted her chin up gently.  She didn’t realize why till the motion began to radiate pain. “I was careful not to put pressure on anything too important, but there’s still bruising,” his voice was careful as if slowly wading into the choppy water that could be her reaction.

“I thought I said nowhere people could see it,” Ellyss remarked.

“I know, but…” he drew her face to his eye level and raked his fingers through her bed head with an impish smile. “You have know idea what you looked like when put my hand to your throat…” his eyes were distant, reveling in the memory of it. “I almost lost control.”

She closed the breath of distance with a kiss and brought him back to the present. “Jay?”

He ducked his head. “I’m very sorry for that though.”

“It’s fine. I just have to figure out how deal with it for class.”

“And how will you?”

“I’ll just say I had some rough sex.”

He burst with laughter at that.  It was fruity yet hardy and somehow delicate and absolutely a song she wanted on repeat. “Goodness you’re wonderful.” Jared pressed his forehead to hers. “I love you, Ellyss.”

She froze.  She was sure he could hear her heart through her forehead or something because his smile only broadened.  She buried her face in the crook of his neck and he laughed again. “Watashi wa Jared no koto mo suki.”

He wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug.  “In Japanese, huh? I’ll take it, for now. Afterall, I can always try to pull the words from you when I want to hear them the most; when you’re underneath me and begging.”

“Is that your way of saying you want to do this again?”

“Exactly.” He chuckled. “See? You’re not as dense as everyone thinks you are.” 

“And you’re strong for a bean pole,” she shot back.

Jared simply grinned and pulled her down with him and the blankets over them. “Less talk, more sleep,” he said, stifling a yawn. 

She closed her eyes. “If at all possible, could I wake bound?”

“That can be arranged.”


	9. Chapter 9

Ellyss tugged the sleeve of her sweater down over the marks on her wrist. “Thank the gods winter is here.” 

Kathryn had been gone for majority of the weekend which left her and Jared with the apartment which lead to her wishing she had more long sleeved attire and muscle compresses. She looked to the bed at the thought of him.  Jared had left earlier that morning swearing like a sailor at the realization that he had forgotten to submit a draft of his thesis and cursing whoever pushed the submission date sooner without warning him.

She trudged down the stairs with care as she noticed how her jeans rubbed just the right way against her inner thigh where he drew blood with his teeth the night before.  She shrugged on her coat and noticed a cerulean scarf draped over the couch.  How he had managed to forget his scarf in eight degree whether was a testament to how distracted he had been.

_No matter_ , she thought. “I’ll see him after classes.” She wrapped it around her neck and left to catch the bus.

\-------

Ellyss absently stirred her matcha latte with a straw. Jared was running late.  She checked her phone. No messages. _Strange_. She rested her chin on her hands and waited.

\------

Ellyss opened the door to her apartment two hours later with enough force to hit the wall.  She glared at nothing in particular, simply being frustrated at being frustrated.  

“What’s up?”

Her eyes rested on Kathryn who was sitting on the couch with her laptop. “He stood me up.” Ellyss stalked over and threw herself onto the other side of couch, wincing slightly when her shoulder scraped against the back of it. “I’m gonna kill him, with fire and something blunt.”

“Did he text you?”

She let out a long drawn out huff.  “No, otherwise I wouldn’t have been ‘stood up’.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Maybe he forgot. He _did_  have to turn in his draft today, and judging by how freaked out he was, he probably hadn’t made much progress.”

“Valid,” she agreed.

Ellyss wanted to relax at that thought but another part of her was afraid he wanted nothing to do with her after that weekend.

\--------

It had been three days.  

Kathryn told her to calm down.

“If he was okay with having a kinky sexcapade with you, I doubt he’s avoiding you. He’s probably just buried under some books somewhere.”

\------

Three days gave way to a week.

“I’m going to his place.”

“I’m surprised you actually know where he lives considering you two are always here.”

“I went once or twice.  He forgot stuff sometimes.” She shrugged on her coat and picked up his scarf. “Besides, I have to return this scarf.”

“Want me to go with you?”

“Please?”

Kathryn gave a sharp nod and got off the couch. “Let me put on clothes first.

Ellyss gave her directions, grateful for the car versus a potentially anxiety fueled bus ride alone. Jared lived in a small one bedroom apartment.  She’d only seen it once.  The space was filled with technology components and objects in various stages of being built.  He had smiled sheepishly then, brushing them off as meaningless distractions and she had let him.  Her stomach clenched.  What if he thought she hated those things because of that?  She had wanted to ask about them but he had shut her down before she had the chance.  That wasn’t a good excuse though and she knew it. She could have pried, asked him about them offhandedly but she hadn’t.

“Ellyss.” Kathryn ejected her from her thoughts. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Ellyss nodded but she didn’t really believe it.  It had been a solid week. Jared was the type to text, email and message before he surrendered to calling or talking in person.  

They were at his place now she realized when the car stopped moving.  That was fast. She found herself regretting not taking the bus. She stared at the scarf in her lap. It was suddenly getting hard to breath.

“Hey,” Kathryn said gently. “I can go if you want.”

She shook her head vigorously. “N-no, I got it.  Before her brain could tell her how bad of an idea it all was she got out of the car and started up metal steps towards the bricked building.  She ducked into the hallway and went to the door at the end of the hall.  She stared at the peeling green paint wanting nothing more than to not be there doing what she was doing. But she was.  She raised her hand and wrapped on the door.

…

…

…

No answer.

She knocked harder.

…

…

…

Nothing.

Ellyss touched the knob and gave it a hesitant turn.

It gave. Her heart was in her ears as she pushed the door open to reveal…

an empty apartment. 

She stared wide eyed. Everything was gone. Baren. She couldn’t bring herself to step in.  The air was stale and empty of him or any living thing for that matter. She bit the inside of her mouth and crossed the threshold anyway.  

The living room was so spacious now without the clutter of his projects and components.  Had the kitchen always have that much counter space?  She wandered around as if in a dream.  His bedroom door was open and empty as well.  There was nothing.  It was as if he had never existed. 

She fell to her knees and pressed her face into her hands willing tears not to come.  Her body shook. He was gone. They came anyway.


	10. Chapter 10

It took a month for her to stop crying every time she saw his scarf.

\-------

It took two more before she could say his name.

\-------

It took a drunken makeout session at a bar and an intense crying session after for her to begin to smile again.

\--------

February

Ellyss stared at her phone,  Jared’s contact information was displayed on the screen, her thumb hovering over the delete key.  Instead, she pressed message.

<What we had was fun right?> February 12 5:00 pm

Her hand trembled as she pressed send. 

She gasped as she choked in air.  She must have been holding her breath. Tears slipped down her cheeks silently as she stared at the screen waiting for a response she knew wouldn’t come.

\---------

March

<I got some new kids to tutor. They can say rda correctly so my life is already easier> March 15 12:14 pm

\---------

<I know it’s april 1st and all but…> April 1 4:00 pm

<So...one of the kids is hitting on me. not joking> April 1 4:00 pm

<I wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t done it before.> April 1 4:01 pm

<He’s cute I spose. Really tall.> April 1 4:01 pm

\---------

<Ugh. idk what to do. I told him I’m not interested in a relationship.> April 16 4:05 pm

\---------

<So I’m down a student T-T sucks cuz he paid well> April 28 10:00 pm

\---------

<ugh why do exams demand so much from people?!> May 3 3:00am

<dying…> May 3 4:00 am

<is that you grandma?> May 3 6:23 am

\---------

<I live.> May 9 8:00 pm

\---------

<i’m booooorred. Summer break is gross> May 20 3:33 pm

<i should take a trip> May 20 4:28 pm

<maybe Japan? do a language camp or something…> May 20 4:28 pm

<holy fuck have you seen the prices for these things?! Ugh I’ll just work.> May 20 4:35 pm

\-------

<working at the library pays well but im so boooooooorrrred> June 3 12:56 pm

\-------

<it’s sooooo hot. I must be in hell. this is hell right? it would explain your crappy reception> June 15 3:00 am

\-------

<I miss you> July 4 6:00 am


	11. Chapter 11

<So i start student teaching this semester. wish me luck> August 20 1:49 pm

\------

<the school is near campus so i get to keep my apartment. yay! thank the gods so few schools teach japanese…> August 21 12:00 am

\--------

<this is surprisingly fun> August 31 5:46 pm

\--------

<so there’s this kid in my class right? he’s a little shit and i want to push him down some stairs. who the fuck openly comments on the size of his student teachers boobs?!> September 5 9:36 pm

<i should probably delete that in case something bad happens to him. don’t want to give the evidence afterall> September 5 9:37 pm

\------

<i did my first lesson today. it went really well. i kept it simple and had them make a mini manga> September 8 9:42 am

<i also got that brat  suspended> September 8 9:42 am

\------

<so there’s a teacher here named Francis WIlson and idk if you saw the Deadpool movie when it came out but thats all I think of when he gives me stuff.> September 15 10:13 pm

<Wait he’s not flirting with me right?> September 15 10:14 pm

<is it flirting if he gives me muffins everyday? i personally feel he’s just trying to give me diabetes> September 15 10:14 pm

\---------

<so i googled it and apparently it’s flirting. but i’m poor right now so i don’t care> September 18 1:13 pm

\------

<Japan here I come!!!!!!!>  October 3 2:03 am

\-------

<i thought they were joking but im really at a university> October 7 4:08 pm

<freaking out> October 7 4:08 pm

\--------

<adults are wonderful. fuck children. im gonna teach english to adults instead of tiny things> October 15 8:16 pm

\-------

<so there’s this student Jun. he’s absolutely darling. he messes up and his face goes the cutest shade of red. he has a bad mass of hair too, he reminds me of you> October 21 9:26 pm

\----------

<okay so maybe Jun is into me. do i attract your type?> October 30 8:07 pm

\---------

<i take it back, you two arent alike. if i go missing, it’s because that kid probably murdered me and stuffed me in his freezer or something> November 5  6:16 pm

\--------

missed call  November 10  11:17 pm

<sorry i had to act like i was calling someone. Jun is fucking stalking me. like really? this could not be more shoujo-esque>  November 10  11:34 pm

\--------

<it seems Jun’s been expelled. apparently he was selling answers to exams or something. lucky me i spose>  November 13  9:19 am

\---------

<I just realized the lateness of this message could have given the wrong impression considering the previous one so i’m checking in. I am not dead>  December 1  12:16 am

\---------

<OMG I GOT A JOB OFFER> December 13 1:17 am

<im finally set im so happy yay merry christmas to me~> December 13  1:17 am

\--------

<ohisashiburi! I’m finally settled in.  I have a roommate now.  i didnt specify gender when i applied so I got a guy.  he’s pretty nice. he’s russian. his name’s Dima>  December 20 7:01 pm

\------

<this is Ellyss stating that if she cannot keep up with Dima in a drinking contest that she will go on a date with him. you are our witness> December 25 3:00 am 

\--------

<as it turns out, Dima is hilarious and also very very strong. before you freak out no he didn’t hit me, he kinda just picked me up once. he didn’t even look tired like wow> January 1 10:00 am

\-------

<i think i just attract the kind of people that are really into spoiling me idk> January 4 11:00 am

\-----

<Dima found my online porn collection. My fault for leaving my tabs open on incognito>  January 23 10:12 am

<i should probably clarify that it was also open>  January 23 10:12 am

<on the kitchen table>  January 23 10:12 am

<while he was cooking>  January 23 10:13 am

<RIP me>  January 23 10:13 am

\-------

<god i thought YOU were rough but dam Dima!>  January 24 2:16 am

\------

<he’s better than you about not marking where it will show thank the gods considering where i am> January 31 8:16 am

\------

<sigh, Dima’s finished with his student teaching (did I mention that’s why he was here?) so he’s going back home. it was fun while it lasted> February 4 12:14 pm

<So the schools on break now. they pay freakishly well so i’m gonna travel. I think I’ll go to England. see the place you spoke of so fondly> February 4 12:14 pm

<plus kathryn is there teaching chinese so yay free room and board> February 4 12:15 pm

\-----

<WHY IS IT RAINING SO MUCH> February 10 2:22 pm

<WHERE IS THE SUN> February 10 10 2:22 pm

\-------

<who needs dry clothes anyway>  February 13 11:01 am

\------

<im booooored. kathryn said there was interesting stuff here but she meant libraries. boooo>  February 17 1:54 pm

\-------

<i thought this place would be more fun -.->  February 18 12:03 am

\-------

<i’m gonna give a bar a try. wish me luck> February 19 10:58 pm


	12. Chapter 12

_When did I start writing messages I could not send?_

Jared stared at his tea absently. He had lost count of the spoonfuls of sugar he had been spooning but judging by the looks his associates were giving him in the breakroom, it was more than his usual by quite a bit. He picked up the mug and straightened his shoulders.  He hadn’t been this absentminded in a while and he reprimanded himself accordingly.  Though they were his underlings, he felt they were at times as bloodthirsty as piranhas. He pushed the thought away, more than aware of what brought on the melancholy.

Ellyss was here.  He remembered the the way his heart stopped when he checked the old phone and how he almost lost his composure before his subordinates.  He strode down the hall into the open stark white opening that was his branch. The sound of the tapping of computer keys calmed him slightly.  The old phone went off. 

<i’m gonna give a bar a try. wish me luck> February 19 10:58 pm

He stared at the message blankly.  Ellyss hated people. Why would she go to a bar?

<But you HATE people!> February 19 10:59pm

He made a beeline for his office.

“Um, excuse me, Quartermaster?”

He looked over his shoulder.  It was one of the new ones.  He found himself at a loss for her name and kicked himself for it. Or at least he tried to.  At this moment he honestly didn’t care, Ellyss was doing something extremely out of character and he really needed to check on her, albeit illegally.

“Laura,” she said reading a sliver of his mind.  She tucked a strand of short blond hair behind her ear. She blushed and it brought attention to the light dusting of freckles that powdered her nose.

“Yes, Laura, is there something you needed?”

“I just wanted to let you know that Agent 007 has finished his mission in record time and will be back in England within the next two hours.”

He nodded his dismissal only to be flagged by another technician.  This one looked frantic, Jonathan as he’d recalled was handling 006 on honeypot mission. His brow furrowed. Ellyss would have to wait. What had Alec done this time? 

\-----

An hour and a half later, Jared had managed to safely duck into his office.  It wasn’t often that Alec got caught bedding a woman on mission but this time he had and at a political gala no less.  Jared had found himself having to traverse the web looking for possible photo leaks.  As it turned out, the woman’s ex-husband had been on a bit of a revenge high after their divorce. 

Jared leaned into his seat heavily and took slow deep breaths. His phone went off again.

<I fdbf fsi fb aog heufa bfdabsif> February 20 1:14 am

He stared at the message in confusion for only a moment before he deduced she was very very drunk.

He turned to his computer and quickly pulled up the program he had running to keep an eye on her.  She was at some club called Ambrosia it seemed but the last image of her was captured of her going in which had been around eleven. He swore under his breath at the lack of cameras within the small very sketchy looking building.

“Of all the clubs to go to—”

“Going clubbing, Quartermaster?” a lucid voice dripped before his desk.

Jared nearly jumped out of his seat. It had been a while since a double O agent had managed to sneak up on him like that. Then again, if it would be anyone, it would be 007. “Bond,” he greeted before his eyes were drawn back to screen.

Ellyss had reemerged from the club in _wow what is she wearing?!_  He watched as she walked with slight unsteady steps. He noticed a few men leaning against the wall watching her. He must have looked rather distressed because Bond was now behind him watching as well.

“Q?” Bond asked.

He stared at the three with growing tension. They had definitely taken interest and started to follow after her. Jared moved to stand but the agent behind him quickly touched a hand to his arm. He felt his heart racing. What were they going to do?did she even notice them?even if she did would she be able to do anythi—

“Where?”

He was yanked from his thoughts. He looked the agent in the eyes searching for something because why would he ask— “I’ll send the address to your GPS,” is what came out instead. 

\-----

Ellyss stared up at the sky listlessly.  She moved to rub her eyes to see it better and found small bits of gravel embedded in her fingers. She frowned at that and found herself wincing. The corner of her mouth stung rather badly. She turned her head and saw a brick wall..on it’s side? She was on the ground. How had she ended up on the ground?

She tried to sit up but a pair of hands pressed her back down.

“Don’t move yet,” a voiced commanded to her right. “Yes I’ve found her,” he whispered under his breath.

She searched for a face to put the voice with only to find that she couldn’t move her head without it pounding in protest.

“Are you hurt?” the voice asked. It was calmer now, almost nice but too clinical.

“M…” Ellyss’ tongue was dry and useless. Instead she gestured haphazardly to her head.

“Yes, there is a rather nasty gash there.” He seemed to be looking over the rest of her. “I’m going to pick you up now, okay?”

She shrugged slightly, resigned to whatever her fate was.  Alcohol did always seem to make her more indifferent than usual in mass quantities. She wondered if she was going to die but couldn’t really bring herself to care, so she simply closed her eyes.

\-----

By the time James had her in the car, the mystery woman was out cold. 

“Q, please tell me you know her address.”

“Sending it now.” He responded promptly. The usual crispness of his voice was gone but James had a feeling Q had not yet realized this himself. He looked to the address on the screen and froze.

“Is there a problem, 007?”

“No. I’ll head there immediately.”  It was a very short drive and easily walkable, most likely the reason the younger woman had chose that particular club.  He parked in the conjoining garage.  She was fairly malleable he found as he half carried half walked her to the elevator and up to the designated floor.  She was mostly awake by the time they made it to the door and opened it with surprising dexterity given her state.

She didn’t question him following her slow progress to her room or react when he disappeared to find a first aid kit, which he did quickly. He made it back to her room where she was sitting at the edge of the bed expectantly. What she was expecting he did not know.  He loosened his tie and draped it along with his jacket on a nearby chair, being careful to position it just so, knowing Q would want to see her and was silently thankful he hadn’t left it at his hotel like usual. The sigh over his comm was enough of a thank you.

“I’m going to clean up the cut on your head,” he spoke clearly. She winced at his voice. He didn’t quite understand why till she rubbed her ears.

“I’m a little...sensitive to sound right now.”

“Coming into a hangover already?” he mused as he knelt before her with an alcohol pad.

“No, I just can’t really deal with voices, especially when I’ve been drinking.”

“Ah,” he said in a lower tone. She didn’t wince this time. “So you’re American then?”

She smirked. “Oh dear what gave me away? Shall I dump some tea for good measure? Recite my national anthem?”

He chuckled. “Cheeky brat. Just be happy you have friends in high places.” She seemed to perk up at that?

“Jay?”

He didn’t say anything to that as he bandaged her forehead and neither did Q, though he did note a held gasp on the end of his Quartermaster. “Do you remember what happened to you?”

“Oooh yeah. At least now I do. Some guys were trying to mug me but I didn’t have any cash. When I told them how outdated their job was and how most people only carry card these days, they got mad and punched me,” she recounted as if it were a story with someone else aside from her starring in it.

“That is so typical,” Q muttered under his breath, voice tired yet fond.

He smiled at that. He hadn’t heard that particular tone before. He pressed a final bandage to the corner of her mouth where she must have been hit. “Did you hit your head when they hit you?”

“Probably,” she answered.

“You may want to be more specific.  Don’t want to risk a concussion.”

“Meh, whatever happens happens.” She stood and stifled a yawn. “If I don’t wake up, I can always haunt the guys who tried to rob me, maybe ruin their lives in weird ways.”

James stared at the woman before her. She was absolutely mad.

“Maybe make it feel like there’s presence in their room while they're trying to jerk off or something so they can never really get into it.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Q.”

“She’s recounted of stories where she hit her head rather hard, I wouldn’t worry.”

“She would have hit her head against a _brick_  wall.”

“She’ll be fine,” he assured with blatant fondness. “She always is.”

James took a final look at the mystery woman, _really_  looked at her.  Slightly above average height, wide hips, small waist, large chest, brown skin, short dark hair, wide chocolate eyes… She was very attractive in an easily average American way and yet he could see the draw. She had a sarcastic streak as deep as Q’s after all. 

He rolled his shoulder. “I’ll be on my way then,” he said without much preamble.

The woman waved before burying herself under the blankets on her bed.

\-----

Ellyss stared after the man who had been kind enough to bandage her head injury.  He had said she had friends in high places but she only had one British friend. Maybe some stalker called in her hero. Emotions began to muddle and mix with the alcohol still pumping through her body. She pulled out her phone none the less and typed slowly.

<I want to be over you. To stop loving you> February 20 2:05 am


	13. Chapter 13

The sun came even though Ellyss swore she mumbled some solid incantations to do the opposite.  She rolled out of bed and stripped the clothes of the night before and grabbed a pair of baggy gym shorts and a clingy tank before leaving the room. 

Bacon filled the air which was weird. No matter when she woke on the weekends, Kathryn would always be at least an hour behind, but no, there she was leaning on the counter, sucking the face of the guy that had saved her last night. 

Wait.

Ellyss stared openly at the two before her because why was he still _here_  and why was he so handsy with her friend?!

He pulled away from Kathryn and glanced her way. “Good, you didn’t die in your sleep.”

“Yeah, I’m just delirious it seems,” she snapped back. A smiled spread across his face. One of secrets and very very mocking. 

“Am I missing something?” Kathryn asked as stepped away from him.

“I hope not because wow.” With Kathryn out of the way she had a chance to really look at the guy. “He is reeeeeaaaaaaly hot. Like ten out of ten would do—”

“Ellyss,” Kathryn cut her off. “How do you know James?”

“Well, this walking sex toy saved me last night when I was being mugged. Or rather after I was mugged—”

“You were _mugged_?!”

“They tried; I didn’t have cash,” Ellyss clarified.

“Yet she had the cheek to mock them,” James inserted.

She rounded on him. “Why didn’t you _wake_  me?!”

He looked confused as to why he was now on the receiving end. “Why would I?”

“Yeah,” Ellyss interjected. “Why would he?”

She looked between the two of them with mounting exasperation. “You two are impossible,” she huffed defeatedly. After a long moment of just breathing she motioned to James. “This is James, we’re dating. You hadn’t met him yet because he was out of the country on business.”

Ellyss eyed him curiously. “Okay.” She thought back to last night and folded her arms. “Do you know Jared?”

His expression was the mask of indifference. “No.”

She felt her body lose it’s tenseness. Of course he didn’t know Jay. Kathryn would’ve told her by now. She turned on heel. “I’m gonna take a shower.”

\------

Jared had just finished stirring his tea when he received a phone call on his personal mobile. Odd, the precious few who had his number knew not to actually call it. He checked the caller ID and braced himself as he hit the green icon.

“Before you say anythi—”

“YOU SENT JAMES TO GET HER?! WHY DIDN’T YOU GO?!”

He took brisk strides to his office, grateful his minions didn’t bother him on his way. “Kathryn how could I? I don’t have a car—”

“You _do_  have a motorcycle and last I checked it went as fast as James’ car!”

He searched for words, an excuse of any kind but found none. “I couldn’t.” 

There was a long silence on the other end. “We had to lie for you. James didn’t even know about you and her but now…”

“I know. I’m sorry. I…” He let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry.”

She said nothing, forcing him to ask.

“How is she?” James had taken his tie and jacket out of her room presumably when she was showering.

“You could ask her yourself,” she muttered back but yielded. “She’s in her room. She hasn’t come out since earlier.”

“I see.”  He looked to the door where Eve was leaning against the pane with a particularly dreadful looking pile of papers. “Sorry, I have to go.” He didn’t wait for Kathryn’s response, well aware that there would have been something in it that would make him feel worse.

\------

Ellyss stared at her laptop blearily. When she had started reading manga instead of drawing up lesson plans, she did not know. All she knew was that she was on chapter twenty of a very obscure shounen ai. She ignored the growling of her stomach, absolutely refusing to leave bed because it was soft and nice and England was none of those things at the moment.   

There was a light rapping at her door. She expected Kathryn but found it was James instead. He was holding a plate of muffins and mug. “I figured you’d be hungry.” At her confused expression he supplied, “Kathryn went out to get ingredients for dumplings.”

“And you let her go? She could get mugged and rescued by my super hot boyfriend,” she shot back with no real venom.

“You have a boyfriend then? Poor fool,” he replied with a lazy smirk.

“More like smart fool considering he left me,” she muttered more to herself than to James. He raised a questioning eyebrow all the same.

“This ‘Jared’, right?”

“Yup.” Ellyss reached for the plate of muffins and popped one in her mouth, chasing it down with milk before going back to her manga. 

“Do you mind elaborating?”

“Why,” she stared at him with eyes that she hoped looked as tired as she felt about the topic. If they had, James didn’t seem to notice.

“I’m curious.” Scratch that, he didn’t care.

“You’re bored.”

He shrugged. “A little.”

She sighed. “Me too. Sure, why not. Might as well tell _someone_.”

\-----

“So he left without a word? That’s a little dramatic.” James watched Ellyss’ body language from the start of her story to the end and it was clear she was in a great deal of pain.  He understood that feeling of betrayal. He had felt it with Vesper.  Was this how he had looked back then too? If so, he was grateful it was over now. He watched as she struggled for words.

“I...I need this gone but, I don’t know how to get rid of it. The last time this happened I cried a lot and then those feelings were gone; as if my body had cut them out of me and healed as if it never happened. But now… I can’t get rid of it. I don’t even know why he left!”

Her eyes had narrowed and her anger was evident. “Do you have a picture of him?” He had to know if this Jared was really Q.

She shook her head. “I don’t like taking pictures.”

“Why?”

“Why?” she asked back. “Why does it even matter?”

“It doesn’t,” he agreed. Only it did.


	14. Chapter 14

Jared looked up from his computer for the umptenth time and found that finally, finally,  _ finally _ James came through his door.  It took everything in him not to jump up and berate him with questions.  Instead, he picked up his mug of earl grey and took a long sip.

James stood before him relaxed with hands in his trouser pockets with the slightest smirk.  “Good morning, Q.”

So the bastard had taken the tie out of her room on purpose.  Had he guessed everything already?  Undoubtedly. “Can I help you, 007?”

He shook his head slowly in mock thought.  “No, I don’t think so, Quartermaster.”  He nodded to himself before turning heel to leave.

“007,” he found himself saying because yes this cheeky bastard would make him ask. 

“Yes, Quartermaster?” His expression was of innocence and if he hadn’t liked that particular mug so much he would’ve thrown it at him.

“How is she?”

The agent moved to shrug but stopped short.  “What does it matter?”

That threw him.  “I’m sorry?”

He backstepped.  “She’s fine.  I doubt she’s remotely scarred by the incident.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I spoke with her this morning.”

“I see.” He looked down at his tea.

“Is that all, Quartermaster?”

No it wasn’t all.  He had to take someone’s word that she was okay and he had stayed the night was she really okay?was she safe?was she still in pain?was she--

“Q.”

He looked up. “Hm?”

For the first time since he’d met him, Bond’s face was open if only because he couldn’t bring himself to ask.  It was an expression of confusion, curiosity and simply asking.

He swallowed his pride. “How is Ellyss, really?”

“Why not ask her yourself?”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“You know bloody well why.”

“So it’s true then?”

Jared pinched the bridge of his nose.  “Why  _ do _ you even care, 007?”  He honestly was at a loss.  This entire conversation was completely out of character.  He thought back to his file and swore lightly under his breath.  Vesper. Of course.  He suddenly felt regret at choosing Bond to help her.  “007, refrain from interacting with her further, understand?” He looked up when there was no answer only to find him already gone. 

Wonderful.

\-----

“Sightseeing?” Ellyss looked James up and down with open suspicion. “With you?”

“Yes.”  He tilted his head slightly. “You seem apprehensive.”

“Well yeah.  I tell you about my love life over muffins after I caught you cannibalising my roomie and now you want to take me  _ sightseeing _ ?” She frowned.  “I don’t know. It’s just that from what I’ve seen of you and Kathryn’s interactions you’re not here very often and well; wouldn’t you want to, I don’t know, be wanting to fuck until the cows come home?”

“You really aren’t one to beat around the bush are you?”

“No not really no,” she said with a knowing smile because she was right.

“Right. Well I suppose I can be equally open then.” His fake smile finally fell away.  “As it turns out, I know him, Jared I mean.”

She froze. “What?”

“And Kathryn isn’t in the mood for anything fun right now because she’s pissed at the moment, so I’m taking you to him so I can enjoy this reprieve, understood?”

Her mouth was agape. “Y...yes.” 


	15. Chapter 15

Jared ran his hands through his hair.  He absolutely did not need this meeting right now.  James had quite a bit of ammunition right now and he had no means of tracking him to see what he’d do with it.  He scanned the room again.  Why oh why did he have to be here with M and Tanner before the PM? He wasn’t even actually needed.  Anyone could explain the new security measures taken since Silva. 

He spoke anyway with his thoughts on an entirely different plane.  James knew about the truth of Ellyss and he was home.  Kathryn was no doubt over the moon and wouldn’t be keeping the agent occupied in the least which meant  very bad things were doomed to come to fruition.  

He didn’t realize how bad it would be until he was freed from the meeting and standing before his office door with Ellyss standing in front of the desk next to the agent in question. 

“Good you’re here.  Now, if you’ll excuse me,” Bond said shortly and left the mess he so undoubtedly often left in his wake.

Jared wanted to shoot him.

Instead, he walked past Ellyss and sat at his desk because what the hell else could he do?! He hadn’t planned for this to happen. Not in the slightest and he hated and cursed himself for it.  He cursed the gods too in illogical  hope that maybe, just maybe they’d smite him.

Ellyss sat in the chair across from his desk and rested her hands on her lap.  The shorts and midriff from last night  were gone now and replaced with a simple grey hoodie over black jeans.  He didn’t know of her expression though as he couldn’t bring himself to look at her face.

They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity.

“So…” her voice was low and a little shaky. “This is what learning Japanese can get you? Damn I missed a pretty awesome boat.”

“It’s only open to British citizens I’m afraid.” His eyes fell, “Even if they aren’t necessarily interested in the first place.”

“Ah.”

Silence.

Jared dug in his pocket and fished out his phone, the old one, unlocked it and pushed across the table to her.

She stared at it in confusion for a while before picking it up.  Her eyes lit with recognition. 

“You may want to be more comfortable.” He gestured to the black leather sofa to the far left of the office. She nodded slowly, eyes already roving the screen and moved to it. He turned to his computer and pulled up his email.  All he could do now was wait.


	16. Chapter 16

Ellyss stared at the phone.  People didn’t give their phones to other people. It was weird. Like giving someone the links to their dirtiest porn with the desires that could lose a person friends.  It was very beat up and the screen was cracked.  On the homescreen was one icon, the message icon.  She tapped it and found that there was history of only one conversation and it had her name on it.

She followed Jared’s instruction to use the couch and opened it.  She didn’t bother to read the most recent and instead scrolled and scrolled until she found the first she had sent that he didn’t respond to.

 

<What we had was fun right?> February 12 5:00 pm

<<You have no idea. Though I’m surprised you’re messaging me after what I’ve put you through.>> February 20 1:00 am

<I got some new kids to tutor. They can say rda correctly so my life is already easier> March 15 12:14 pm

<<Well we can’t all be perfect now can we?>> March 20 11:59 pm

\---------

<I know it’s april 1st and all but…> April 1 4:00 pm

<So...one of the kids is hitting on me. not joking> April 1 4:00 pm

<I wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t done it before.> April 1 4:01 pm

<He’s cute I spose. Really tall.> April 1 4:01 pm

<<Dear god you know how it turned out the last time you dated one of your students?>> April 16 5:00 am

<<Just because he’s tall doesn’t mean anything by the way>> April 16 5:00 am

\---------

<Ugh. idk what to do. I told him I’m not interested in a relationship.> April 16 4:05 pm

<<Oh, I can think a few things that can drive that home>> April 16 4:06 pm

\---------

<So I’m down a student T-T sucks cuz he paid well> April 28 10:00 pm

<<Sorry to hear that. I know you’re saving up for senior year.>> April 28 10:20 pm

\---------

<ugh why do exams demand so much from people?!> May 3 3:00am

<<Why are you even awake? You don’t study>> May 3 3:03 am

<dying…> May 3 4:00 am

<<Seriously, Ellyss, go to sleep. You don’t function well without it.>> May 3 4:04 am

<is that you grandma?> May 3 6:23 am

<<Oh dear god I will tape you to a mattress myself>> May 3 6:30 am

That pulled a small laugh from her.

<I live.> May 9 8:00 pm

<< [ http://www.amazon.com/Go-F-Sleep-Adam-Mansbach/dp/145584165X ](http://www.amazon.com/Go-F-Sleep-Adam-Mansbach/dp/145584165X) >> May 9 8:05 pm

She laughed openly at that.  His humor clearly hadn’t been dulled.

<i’m booooorred. Summer break is gross> May 20 3:33 pm

<<If it makes you feel better, I am thorughly swamped with work>> May 20 3:40 pm

<i should take a trip> May 20 4:28 pm

<maybe Japan? do a language camp or something…> May 20 4:28 pm

<<That sounds rather expensive…>> May 20 4:30 pm

<holy fuck have you seen the prices for these things?! Ugh I’ll just work.> May 20 4:35 pm

<<Good call>> May 20 4:36 pm

\-------

<working at the library pays well but im so boooooooorrrred> June 3 12:56 pm

<<Write something. You always were fond of short stories>> June 3 1:00 pm

\-------

<it’s sooooo hot. I must be in hell. this is hell right? it would explain your crappy reception> June 15 3:00 am

<<Stay inside. You never were okay in the heat.>> June 15 3:05 am

\-------

<I miss you> July 4 6:00 am

<<And I you like you wouldn’t believe>> July 4 6:02 am

\-----

<So i start student teaching this semester. wish me luck> August 20 1:49 pm

<<Good luck. Hopefully they're good students>> August 20 2:00 pm

\------

<the school is near campus so i get to keep my apartment. yay! thank the gods so few schools teach japanese…> August 21 12:00 am

<<Yes, your rent was always criminally cheap after all>> August 21 12:01 am

\--------

<this is surprisingly fun> August 31 5:46 pm

<<I should hope so.  It is your career path after all>> August 31 5:47 pm

\--------

<so there’s this kid in my class right? he’s a little shit and i want to push him down some stairs. who the fuck openly comments on the size of his student teachers boobs?!> September 5 9:36 pm

<i should probably delete that in case something bad happens to him. don’t want to give the evidence afterall> September 5 9:37 pm

<<I’ll help you bury the body>> September 5 9:38 pm

\------

<i did my first lesson today. it went really well. i kept it simple and had them make a mini manga> September 8 9:42 am

<i also got that brat  suspended> September 8 9:42 am

<<That’s my girl>> September 8 9:43 am 

\------

<so there’s a teacher here named Francis WIlson and idk if you saw the Deadpool movie when it came out but thats all I think of when he gives me stuff.> September 15 10:13 pm

<Wait he’s not flirting with me right?> September 15 10:14 pm

<is it flirting if he gives me muffins everyday? i personally feel he’s just trying to give me diabetes> September 15 10:14 pm

<<I’d call it that yes.  Though with a name like that I can’t blame you for taking them>> September 15 10:15 pm

\---------

<so i googled it and apparently it’s flirting. but i’m poor right now so i don’t care> September 18 1:13 pm

<<Can’t fault you there>> September 18 1:15 pm

\------

<Japan here I come!!!!!!!>  October 3 2:03 am

<<Omedeto>> October 3 2:05 am

\-------

<i thought they were joking but im really at a university> October 7 4:08 pm

<freaking out> October 7 4:08 pm

<<You’ll do fine. I believe in you>> October 7 4:10 pm

\--------

<adults are wonderful. fuck children. im gonna teach english to adults instead of tiny things> October 15 8:16 pm

<<As long as you’re happy>> October 15 8:17 pm

\-------

<so there’s this student Jun. he’s absolutely darling. he messes up and his face goes the cutest shade of red. he has a bad mass of hair too, he reminds me of you> October 21 9:26 pm

<<Nice to know there’s a Japanese me somewhere>> October 21 9:27 pm

\----------

<okay so maybe Jun is into me. do i attract your type?> October 30 8:07 pm

<<So it would seem>> October 30 8:09 pm

\---------

<i take it back, you two arent alike. if i go missing, it’s because that kid probably murdered me and stuffed me in his freezer or something> November 5  6:16 pm

<<What do you mean? Are you joking? Ellyss??>> November 5  6:17 pm

\-------

<<I know you message me sporadically and that’s fine but I really need you to talk to me.>> November 6 8:00 am

\--------

<<Ellyss? Please send me something>> November 7 10:00 am

\-------

<<Dammit where the hell are you??>>  November 8 12:05 pm

\-------

<<Please tell me I don’t have to kill anyone>> November 9 3:00 am

\------

missed call  November 10  11:17 pm

<<I’m sorry I was stuck in a skype conversation with my boss  and couldn’t get out please tell me you’re okay>> November 10 11:30 pm

<<Dammit are phone screens really this fragile? I only threw it once...?>> November 10 11:30 pm

<sorry i had to act like i was calling someone. Jun is fucking stalking me. like really? this could not be more shoujo-esque>  November 10  11:34 pm

<<I’ll take care of it>> November 10 11:34 pm

\--------

<it seems Jun’s been expelled. apparently he was selling answers to exams or something. lucky me i spose>  November 13  9:19 am

<<Your welcome>> November 13 9:19 am

\---------

<I just realized the lateness of this message could have given the wrong impression considering the previous one so i’m checking in. I am not dead>  December 1  12:16 am

<<It’s fine. I know you’re safe now>> December 1 12:17 

\---------

<OMG I GOT A JOB OFFER> December 13 1:17 am

<im finally set im so happy yay merry christmas to me~> December 13  1:17 am

<<I’m so happy for you.  Merry Christmas>> December 13 1:18 am

\--------

<ohisashiburi! I’m finally settled in.  I have a roommate now.  i didnt specify gender when i applied so I got a guy.  he’s pretty nice. he’s russian. his name’s Dima>  December 20 7:01 pm

<<The last time you told me about a man, he stalked you so excuse me if I look into this man’s background…>> December 20 7:02 pm

<<He checks out>> December 20 7:08 pm

\------

<this is Ellyss stating that if she cannot keep up with Dima in a drinking contest that she will go on a date with him. you are our witness> December 25 3:00 am 

<<What the hell makes you think you can out drink a RUSSIAN??>> December 25 3:02 am

\--------

<as it turns out, Dima is hilarious and also very very strong. before you freak out no he didn’t hit me, he kinda just picked me up once. he didn’t even look tired like wow> January 1 10:00 am

<<Well as long as you’re happy I can’t complain>> January 1 10:01 am

\-------

<i think i just attract the kind of people that are really into spoiling me idk> January 4 11:00 am

<<Well with someone as indifferent as you, one can’t help but want to>> January 4 11:00 am

\-----

<Dima found my online porn collection. My fault for leaving my tabs open on incognito>  January 23 10:12 am

<<THATS AN INVASION OF PRIVACY>> January 13 10:12 am

<i should probably clarify that it was also open>  January 23 10:12 am

<on the kitchen table>  January 23 10:12 am

<while he was cooking>  January 23 10:13 am

<RIP me>  January 23 10:13 am

<<That is so unbelievably you>> January 23 10:12 am

\-------

<god i thought YOU were rough but dam Dima!>  January 24 2:16 am

<<I’ll have you know, if we had more than that weekend you wouldn’t be saying that>> January 24 2:16 am

\------

<he’s better than you about not marking where it will show thank the gods considering where i am> January 31 8:16 am

<<Again we only had THAT ONE weekend>> January 31 8:17 am

\------

<sigh, Dima’s finished with his student teaching (did I mention that’s why he was here?) so he’s going back home. it was fun while it lasted> February 4 12:14 pm

<So the schools on break now. they pay freakishly well so i’m gonna travel. I think I’ll go to England. see the place you spoke of so fondly> February 4 12:14 pm

<<Wait, what?>> February 4 12:14 pm

<plus kathryn is there teaching chinese so yay free room and board> February 4 12:15 pm

<<Even so, WHY???>> February 4 12:15 pm

\-----

<WHY IS IT RAINING SO MUCH> February 10 2:22 pm

<<It’s London>> February 10 2:22 pm

<WHERE IS THE SUN> February 10 2:22 pm

<<Again, it’s London>> February 10 2:23 pm

\-------

<who needs dry clothes anyway>  February 13 11:01 am

<<Invest in an umbrella>> February 13 11:02 am

\------

<im booooored. kathryn said there was interesting stuff here but she meant libraries. boooo>  February 17 1:54 pm

<<Told you to go somewhere else...And hey you make it sound like there’s nothing fun here!>> February 17 1:54 pm

<<Feeling very attacked right now>> February 17 1:55pm

\-------

<i thought this place would be more fun -.->  February 18 12:03 am

<<My god use Google>> February 18 12:03 am

\-------

<i’m gonna give a bar a try. wish me luck> February 19 10:58 pm

<<But you HATE people!>> February 19 10:59pm

\-----

<I want to be over you. To stop loving you> February 20 2:05 am

<<Please don’t>> February 20 2:05 am


	17. Chapter 17

Jared looked up at the push of leather.  Ellyss was still sitting but now she was shaking.  He stood and walked over to her.  He reached for her shoulder but she jerked back and stood.

“I guess it goes without saying that you hacked your phone so it wouldn’t send the messages you wrote.

His voice was low. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because…” He licked his lips, “I didn’t deserve to be apart of your life after all I’ve put you through.” He knew what those words implied, what it decided for her and wasn’t the least surprised at the anger that took to her features.

“Where do you get off?!” She threw the phone as hard as she could.  He tried to hold back the flinch the crash of the device caused him.  He hadn’t heard that sound since he’d thrown it himself when he missed her call.  He had felt so powerless back then.

“Ellyss---”

“NO! You don’t get to make that call! You don’t get to choose for me! How  _ dare _ you..!” She took his tan cardigan in her hands. “How dare you…” She pressed her forehead to his heart and he knew she must have felt its racing. “You really are the worse kind of person. You left me after what we did and I..!” She pushed him away and sank back on the sofa. “I thought you were disgusted by me.”

He fell to his knees to peer up at her face. She was crying. He hated it. “Ellyss, please, I could never feel that way about you--I love you. I’m sorry but it’s true and I know what I shouldn’t say that after what happened but--”

“ _ What _ happened?” She stared into his eyes. “Why did you leave out of blue like that?”

He swallowed.  “I...I...my government needed me. I didn’t really get a say in the matter.”

Ellyss searched his eyes, for what he didn’t know but she calmed so he didn’t care. “That’s not good enough.” Her brows niched. “Give me something.”

“What do you mean--”

“Give me something that’ll make it easier to hate you; something that will let me let you go.”

He stared at her, mouth agape.  He must have looked as if she had slapped him because that was exactly how it felt.  He even found his hand brushing his cheek to make sure she actually hadn’t.  He didn’t however expect to find wetness.  He was crying too.  His breath hitched at the realization.  He watched her gaze turn to something softer as he wiped his face.

“Can’t even remember the last time I cried but…”  _ I doubt it hurt this much. _ He slowly rose and turned his back to her.  “I’m sorry, I know how much you hate liars so I can’t really give you a reason to hate me aside from what was out of my control.”  

No response. 

He rolled his neck and stared at his mug, anything to prevent himself from turning because he didn’t know what he’d find.  “Do you want me to lie?”

“Please don’t.”  Her voice sounded resigned but there was still a quiver.

“Quoting me now?”

“You always were quick-witted.”

“Well my brain  _ is _ all I have. We can’t all be tall attractive Russian stalkers who buy you muffins now can we?” He relaxed at the laugh that followed his words.  It was quiet but it was there.

“No, I spose we can’t.”

He waited for her to add and when she didn’t, “I still love you, Ellyss.”

“I know.” There was a smile in her voice.  

“It would be unrealistic of me to ask you to be with me again.”

“It would,” she agreed. “Especially considering where I work.” She stood in front of him now with the faintest smile but her eyes were still elsewhere.  “You know...all the way in Japan.”

He nodded. “Yes, that is another problem of its own.”

“Jared.”

Hearing his real name at MI6 was surprisingly jarring.  “Yes?”

“I’m hungry, and every place I’ve been to so far here is unbelievably bland.”

He changed topics with ease, more than used to her sporadic train of thought. “It’s not my fault you Americans salt and sugar everything you get your hands on and we don’t.”

“You give your country too much credit they’re just as bad at times,” she shot back. “Besides, you should be happy; I’m giving you the chance to redeem this soggy place.” Her eyes were gaining light again.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, show me what you argued on that phone--that this place isn’t as boring as I’ve found it to be.”

He wanted to, but he didn’t have time for that.  He was behind in his work because of all this begin with. There were two agents who needed to be outfitted before they left on their missions in--he checked his watch-- an hour.  God how long had they been talking?

“You must be busy though,” the fall in her voice was slight but he caught it all the same. She smiled all the same with a taunting gaze. “We can’t  _ all _ be Yankees now can we?” She gave his shoulder a light squeeze and moved to leave.

“Eight pm,” his mouth said of its own accord. “I’ll pick you up.”

“Till then.”


	18. Chapter 18

Ellyss arrived at Kathryn’s apartment with little ceremony.  There had been a car waiting for her outside with a post it note stuck to the window that simply said: I trust you can make it back.  Upon reading it she directed the driver to take her ‘literally anywhere else’ because the last thing she needed was to hear them making up for lost time. She was assured though that “Mr. Bond has made proper arrangements and that there wouldn’t be any ‘problems’.”  Though loathe to believe those words, she had agreed to meet Jared there, so she really had no choice anyway. 

The apartment was empty to her surprise but she was grateful all the same.  The day had been taxing in a very emotional way and all she wanted to do was lay down.  Reading Jared’s texts had been especially exhausting. 

He still loved her. She took a slow deep breath. She coerced him into getting dinner with her.  Was that cruel on her part? He seemed to have been equally distressed by it all. Maybe she was taking advantage... 

She pulled out her phone ready to text him; to ensure he actually wanted it when it vibrated.

<<Something came up. I might be later than expected.>> February 21 6:02 pm

She frowned. She had just left, if he wanted to avoid dinner, he could say it straight out.

<Did you not want to meet?> February 21 6:03 pm

She stared at the phone, waiting for a response. 

Nothing.

She cursed the weight of her eyelids.  Heavy emotions always seemed to tire her out.

 

Ellyss awoke to knocking. She rubbed her eye with one hand and combed fingers through her hair with the other as she headed to the door. She pulled the door open and scolded herself for not checking the peephole first. Her murder would be on her hands she decided.

What fragments of sleep still clung to her mind were struck away at the sight of Jared.  He had a tanned leather satchel slung over his chest, a motorcycle helmet tucked under one arm and a bag hanging on the other.  Its contents smelled heavenly.

He smiled shyly, eyes apologetic, “I thought take out might be better at this hour…” His brows knitted, “Did I wake you?”

“It’s fine. I hadn’t intended to fall asleep.”  She ushered him in and looked to a clock on the wall: 11:30. “It’s already this late?”

“Yeah, something happened that I couldn’t leave to my staff.”

“So you’re the boss then?” she asked conversationally as she flicked switches to illuminate the sitting area.

“Yes.” Jared shrugged off his satchel and navy pea coat before taking a seat on the sofa beside her. “Are you alone here?”

“Yeah, James and Kathryn wanted to catch up.”

“Explains his reckless behavior as of late.”

“I had the feeling that he was always that reckless.”

He unloaded an array of boxes. “You have no idea.”

“So you two know each other well?”

“He knows about you doesn’t he?”

“Through Kathryn, but he seemed surprised by me all the same, so I couldn’t gauge your relationship. He did seem surprised in your taste in women though which means you two are at least beyond acquaintances.” She smiled. “Though that doesn’t really mean much coming from you of all people.”

He looked to her in slight wonder. “How can someone so bad at social protocol be so aware?”

“I had quite a bit of practice dealing with all the new kinds of people I’ve met over the years. You of all people know this better than most. So, what’d you get? Smells like Indian food.”

“That’s because it is.” He held out a plate of curry and rice. “Butter chicken seemed the safest bet so…”

“Perfect.” Ellyss took a bite and moaned.  The orange sauce was rich and savory with just enough spice to burn. “Amazing.” She held up a finger before he could get in a word, “But...it’s not English; It’s Indian.”

“Like America is any different.  Your best dishes aren’t native to the US in the least.”

She picked up a piece of garlic naan. “Touche.” 

She watched him eat. His pallor had gotten even lighter since he’d left, most likely due to the lack of sun.  He also seemed to have lost more weight if that was even possible. The long chords of his throat were more visible than ever and it made her want to cook something that could cling to his slight frame. Still, she marveled at the bluish branches and vines that snaked just under his skin. She wanted to trace the paths with her fingers, maybe her tongue.

“Ellyss?” 

“Hm?”

His smile was small and hesitant. “I’m still trying to accept that you’re here--that we’re here right now.” 

“I bet I’m more skeptical than you.” Her smile faltered as she took another bite. The curry wasn’t as sweet as the restaraunts in the US made it and she was grateful for that. “Back then, I wasn’t in the best place with my sexuality and even now I find myself nursing the wound that came out of our misunderstanding and…” She paused. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she thanked the gods for her darker skin; she’d be bright red otherwise. “You might...think less of me, but...even when I was with Dima, all I could think of was you.”

“Why would I think less of you for that?”

“Because I used him, and according to many societies, that’s bad.”

He tilted his head quizzically. “Everyone uses everyone, there’s no need to feel bad on that account.”

She nodded more to herself than Jared. “If that’s the case, I want you to take me to bed.” 

Ellyss stared at her now empty plate holding her breath.  The last time she’d said something like that, there was a whole floor and a door she could run away to. There was even a roommate that could show him out. 

The silence stretched.

She listened to the sound of a plate being placed on the table and a breath being slowly pushed out.

“Do you really want to do that?” His voice was barely a whisper. When she looked to him his expression was a shaky mask of calm. “I mean,” he fumbled for purchase. “I don’t want you to--”

She pressed her lips to his and savored the taste of his lips.  A flavor she had craved in their time apart. “You were no doubt going to say something that would make me want to kill you.”

A lopsided smile crept across his features. “Most likely, yes.” He allowed her to take his hand and lead him to her room, but as soon as they were there he pressed her bodily against the wall before pushing air out her lungs with hungry kisses.

She sucked in air greedily when he finally let her go. His eyes were blown and his breath had turned ragged in a way that made her giddy. She held her breath as he tucked his nose into the croak of her neck and let go of bated breaths as his teeth sank in hard enough to break skin. Her hands tore at his shoulders for purchase as he laved at the punctures.

“I never got the chance to really mark you up last time.” His voice reverberated off of her skin making she shiver. “I never forgave myself for that.” 

He pressed his body to hers and she could feel how hard he already was. He really did enjoy biting she realized. Even back in college he had done it every chance he got. The marks themselves had been another unfortunate reminder of him until they finally faded. Her mind was jerked back to the present when his nails started digging into her hips. He pressed soft lips to hers and she tasted her own blood on his tongue. She nearly tripped as he moved her to the bed and shrieked when he dropped her without warning.

Jared’s grin was cheeky to say the least but he looked drunk all the same with his languid movements and flushed skin. He pushed her t shirt up and suckled her breasts as she took it off; there would definitely be hickeys there tomorrow. His fingers hooked in the waistband of her shorts and underwear and slipped them off too. 

It took everything in her not curl into a ball of embarrassment and he clearly enjoyed watching her struggle. He pressed her wrists into the mattress when she started to squirm too much and just stared at her.

“Jared, cut it out,” she complained.

“Did none of the others do this?”

She hadn’t expected that question and it showed openly on her face. “Yes, but it wasn’t as bad.”

“Why?”

She stared at his crimson kiss-swollen lips. “Because none of them looked like they wanted to eat me.” 

His expression turned bright and amused. “Then they weren’t really looking at you.” 

He sat up and pulled her legs to him until she straddled him. Jared slowly undid his tie and proceeded to tie her hands behind her back at the forearm. He let her test the restraints and was satisfied when she couldn’t budge.

“Happy?” She inquired.

“Very.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Now...what to do…” 

“Gods you’re patient.” The contrast between back then and now was evident. 

“I want to savor this.” He pressed her into the bed. “I’ve been dreaming about this for bloody years but now that I have you, I’m a bit...overwhelmed.”

“Well aren’t you cute.”

“Quiet you.” Jared pressed a kiss to her nose, her shoulders, her thighs. His eyes were closed and he looked at peace. “When do you leave?”

“From what I’ve gathered from your text messages and the bar rescue, you already know.”

He eyed her carefully. “There’s ‘being aware of one’s surroundings’ and there’s ‘scoping out’.” 

“There’s ‘looking into people’s backgrounds’ and there’s making people disappear.”

“Touche.” His eyes looked distant. “I’d love to ask you to stay at least one more night, but…”

“You already know I’m pushing the limits already, right?” It was true. Ellyss had booked her flight out so that she could stay in London for the maximum amount of time before she had to be back, factoring in jet lag and class lesson planning. All that cashed out to be about fourteen days; she left the day after tomorrow. 

“Holidays in Japan are so short,” he muttered.

“In their defence, you shouldn’t have taken so long to find me.”

“In my defence, I had no intention of looking for you.”

She smiled. Those words had been unspoken for so long and now that they were in the open, it hurt in a way that made it hard to breath. “Well too bad, you fucking martyr. We Americans pride ourselves on not doing what England wants.”

He smirked. “My tie around your arms has something to say about that.” he traced her jaw. “Speaking of which, we’ve gotten sorely off topic.” He rolled her on her stomach.

Ellyss shivered as he ran light fingers down her spine. She relaxed into the firmer presses of his fingers and palms, only noticing the way he straddled her lower legs in passing. 

“We’re always short on time. It’s no different than last time,”  he mumbled as he wrapped fingers around her hips. 

She hissed as nails dug into flesh. It wasn’t long before she felt a familiar heat press against her thigh as Jared gained a better grip on her arms and pulled her into a kneeling position before pressing her cheek to the bed. She noted the sharp angle her body was forced into. She wouldn’t have any control in this position nor an ability to fight back if she felt the need to. He would decide what to do with her. Her mouth watered. How she had missed this.

“Color?”

Her eyes fluttered open. “Green.”

“Good.” He sheathed himself without preamble. 

She gasped at the burn of it. What reaction she had had to his earlier ministrations did little to ease his entry and so much of her was grateful for it. She sighed at the press of his lips to her shoulder, it was as much warning as he was going to give as fucked into her. There was no rhythm to be found, just the hectic snap of his hips. He pressed her face into the mattress as he hiked her hips higher for a better angle.

Ellyss gasped for air but Jared didn’t budge. Just when she thought she’d faint he flipped her on her back.

“Shhh…” he soothed in between kisses. 

She felt the smile on his lips as she chased them. He pressed took the nape of her neck and guided her lips lower til his cock was resting on the lips of her slacken mouth. Jared had her shoulder now so she wasn’t completely helpless in the new kneeling position but if he let her go she’d definitely gag on it. She pressed her tongue to it experimentally. She noticed the salt first and then the heat of it all.

“Have you done this before?”

“Dima said I was awful.”

There was a grin his words. “Maybe you had a bad teacher.” His right hand clutched her chin. “Relax your jaw and open your throat.”

“Easy for you to say.” She abided all the same. She resented the saliva that dribbled down her jaw as Jared’s cock slipped into her mouth. The salty taste was both overwhelming and welcome; it was mostly from sweat.

Jared let out a contented sigh.

She wished she could see him but the angle prevented it. Instead, she tried to relax her mouth further and not bite. Dima hadn’t been particularly thrilled when she had. Jared’s hips slowly rose and fell as he produced a doable rhythm. He was panting heavily now so he must have been close. 

His movements started to become erratic as his thrust into her mouth with less and less coordination. She willed her body to relax.  His fingers fisted into her hair and she moaned. The vibrations sent him over he edge and he was cumming down her throat and on her tongue.

Jared pulled her up by her hair and kissed her open-mouthed and sloppy.  One of his hands fumbled with the tie around her arm as the other coaxed a slower kiss from her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and drowned in it. 

This was what she really needed. Not the sex or the food, just Jared kissing her like his life depended on it. It took everything in her to pull away from that kiss and come up for air.

He hugged her to himself tightly and nestled into the messy blankets.

“You really are strange,” she thought aloud.

Jared laughed openly. “Oh?”

“Cuddling after what we just did,” she continued with a grin, “I get why, but it’s still jarring all the same.”

“You’re no different.”

“True. If I had it my way, we’d be doing this all the time,” she mumbled drowsily as she tucked her head just under his jaw. When he had taken off his shirt she didn’t know, but the warmth was welcome as the heat of sex dissipated.  

“Seconded.”

They lay there in comfortable silence. Ellyss knew they needed to talk about what would happen next, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak. She was finally where she wanted to be. Besides, if there was anything she was good at, it was procrastination. 


	19. Chapter 19

Ellyss reached out blindly through the fog of sleep and found nothing but empty space next to her. Her blood ran cold as anxiety had its way with her sleep addled mind. She sat up and took slow breaths, begging her mind to think rationally.

She checked her phone.

<<Sorry, didn’t want to wake you. I had to go into work.>> February 22 4:26 am

She stared at the time stamp. Jared had been off for less than five hours! He hadn’t even been able to sleep for most of it. Back then his sleeping pattern had been erratic too, still, this was too much. 

She considered calling him, but if he needed to go in at four in the morning and hadn’t come back yet  she doubted he would be in a position to answer. It was around nine o’clock now. She considered going to his work place, but quickly quashed that idea. Judging by people's reactions to James’ actions and the high amount of security measures he had seemed to be bypassing last time, she had a feeling she wasn’t supposed have been there. 

She stared off at nothing in particular for a while and concluded that it was best to just go about her day. Before hopping in the shower, she fired off a quick text and hoped it wouldn’t distract him from whatever it was that he was doing.

 

Jared let out a sigh of relief. It had taken nearly three hours, but he had located 004 who had managed to not only blow his cover but also get caught by the target’s men. Locating him hadn’t even been the hard part. It was getting him out of the desert before he died of dehydration and the target’s men weren’t particularly keen on letting that happening.  

But he had managed it. He thought of going back to Ellyss’ place. The idea of curling back into bed with her made him sleepy just thinking about it. He had just managed to shoulder his messenger bag when one of his minions came to his door short of breath. He didn’t try to hide his annoyance in the slightest, but he dropped his bag on the floor all the same.

 

Three stale muffins and a glass of milk later Ellyss sat on the couch in the main room.  Jared would probably be gone all day and the last thing she wanted to do was stay curled up in those sex soaked sheets if he wouldn’t be there with her. 

She fingered the fresh marks on her forearm absently. She had nothing to do with the last two vacation days she had. As fun as it would be to have Jared all to herself for them, he had work. Work that seemed to take a lot of his time, but he also seeme to enjoy it. No matter how good the reason or sharp the knife to his throat it would be impossible to wake him if he didn’t want to move. 

Elyss smiled at that. He was enjoying himself, no matter how much James seemed to annoy him-- _ if _ he was really annoying him. She wouldn’t get in his way. This she promised.

  
  


Jared ran his finger through his hair and bit the inside of his mouth before speaking again to the very very angry agent before him.

“I know you’re due time off after your previous mission, 007 but--”

“If you know this then why am I here? It hasn’t even been a week. Are the other agents so incompetent that you can’t send them in for something as simple as an extraction?” His voice was low but his tone was icy.

“It is not ‘a simple extraction’ and you know it. 003 is deep undercover and requires back up close by because he is under suspicion. Back up that the organization he is apart of is required to give.” It took true skill to keep his tone level, but nothing could be done about the rising flush of his cheeks. Only 007 could rile him up this badly. “If I could have used  anyone else I would, but--” the agent stormed for the door.

“I understand, Quartermaster.”

“Bond, I’m sorry. I know you were looking forward to your time off.” He must have believed him because he looked back. “Please understand that I’m stuck here too. Understand that you get to go back to her,”  _ And I can’t. _ “and that she’ll be here when you get back.”  _ And Ellyss won’t be. _

The unsaid words hung there between them and he hated himself for letting it all slip out like this.

“Q…” 

Jared squared his shoulders and pushed up his glasses. “Right, please follow me, so I can give you your kit. I trust you read over the debrief for this ‘simple extraction’?”

It was clear the agent wanted to say something, but he held it in. “More or less.”

 

Ellyss jumped at the sound of the apartment door opening, sure that she had locked it. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw it was Kathryn. A piece of her was disappointed it wasn’t Jared though.

She checked clock, it was a bit after three. “Why are you here? Don’t you have a sex montage or something?”

“James had to go into work.” She sunk into the couch with a groan.

“Oh. That sucks,” she offered because it really did. Judging from their interactions, James was gone a lot. “Wanna do something?”

She shrugged. “Doubt I’ll be good company right now, give me a bit, okay?”

“Sure. If it makes you feel better, I’ve been alone since four in the morning.”

“He left you here?”

“Jared had work. If the roles were reversed, it would be the same. Besides, I’m happy just to know he’s okay. Being able to see him was already a surprise, so I’m already happy and--”

“Your ability to produce good bullshit has dwindled in your time in Sunrise Land.”

“Bite me.”

“Looks like you don’t really need anymore added to your collection.”

She considered grabbing something other than a tank top earlier but decided against it. Even now she didn’t regret Kathryn seeing them. 

“I hope I can hide them all later. I don’t need my students freaking out on me.” She smiled but it didn’t touch her eyes. “I know that’s what I’m supposed to say to him before I leave. I know what face I should make to be sure he doesn’t blame himself for all this, but I don’t want to lie like that. I want it all back, everything he gave me. I want it all back.”

“So what’re you going to do then?”

“I don’t know.” 

 

After sending his agent off on yet another mission, Jared checked his phone for the first time all day. He had forgotten just how much time it took to get an agent outfitted, properly debriefed and sent out along with setting up a meeting time that didn’t raise further suspicion for the occasion, or maybe he hadn’t really cared before. Throwing himself into his work had been a good way of forgetting about what he had left behind in the US.

<<I don’t have anything planned before I leave so come by if you want to>> February 22 10:48 am

He wished he’d seen it sooner, it was already eight. He could’ve at least pointed her to a place to go. He had wanted to do it himself really, but he would no doubt have to come back tomorrow morning to guide Bond because he didn’t work well with the other handlers. Though he hated the idea of going to her just to spend the night and bale in the morning, he knew he’d do it anyway.

He made his way out of MI6 and for the station. Venting his frustrations on Bond hadn’t been his best move. He’d have apologized if the man hadn’t looked at him with such pity and understanding at that moment. He didn’t want pity but at least he had managed to get through the agent’s abnormally thick skull. That alone was an achievement.  

He got off at the stop closest her place. Sure she wouldn’t be here for much longer, but he could savor it until he had to let her go again. 

The distance was short enough to walk so he took the time to consider what to say to her instead of hiring a taxi. Her flight left around seven tomorrow and he wouldn’t be able to be there to see her off.  He supposed it was symbolic in that way. At least this time they both knew when the other would leave them. His smile was bitter but he thought it only natural. If saying goodbye to someone again and again was easy, he doubted anyone would grasp the significance of the action.

He shuffled into the lobby of the building and on to the elevator. It was near nine now. They could probably go out for a late dinner, but he honestly just wanted to be near her and only her for as long as possible.  Curl up and watch a movie or two or just sit in silence and soak up one another's company. 

Jared knocked lightly, unsure if she would have simply gone to sleep. Emotional events always seemed to force her into bed early. He thought back to when she told him about her sexuality. That had been a long week. She had been a husk of her former self. Always tired and sleeping whenever possible. He remembered how she tried to console him during it all.  _ I’m fine, just tired. I don’t do emotions well. Just give me a bit okay? _ He had, but when he was forced to return home all he could think about was how she was reacting to it all. Was she sleeping all day again? Had she managed to make it to classes? Was there anyone there to make sure she was eating?

“Jared?”

He blinked. How long had he been standing there? He forced a smile. “Sorry, can I come in?”

“Sure.” She stepped aside and he entered slowly.

His body felt heavy. Thinking of the past was yet another bad idea in the ledger that was today’s events. He pinched the bridge of his nose, willing it all away. This was the last night they had together and he wouldn’t let the past ruin it. He walked into the main area and stopped when he saw Kathryn. She was peeking at him from the couch with narrowed eyes.

“Hello.” Her voice was light but he recognized the edge of it. 

“You know I wouldn’t have if it could have been avoided,” he replied, already on the defensive.

“You two okay?” Ellyss asked from behind him.

“We will be for you,” Kathryn stated, eyes never leaving Jared’s. “I’m going to stay at James’ place until you’re gone.”

“I would object to that if not for the fact that he lives on this floor.” Her voice grew lower as her friend passed her. “Thanks.”

“How many this time?” He asked with a sigh.

“Haven’t decided yet, but five take out orders minimum,” Kathryn called back from the door. “And I’m not going to spare you and get the cheap stuff.”

“Wonderful.” He tossed his bag by the couch before heading to the kitchen for something to drink.

“Did you just barter for the use of her apartment?” Ellyss seemed rather amused at the thought.

Jared opened the refrigerator. If she was going to charge him over five he might as well raid her ciders. He grabbed two hard ciders and handed her one before answering. 

“No, I am in charge of sending Bond out on assignments. It was more of a sacrifice to prevent her from coming after me for doing it so quickly after he got back.” He hadn’t technically lied about his job; it was all technically true.

“Oh.” She sipped hers slowly. “Does it happen often? Having to pay tribute?”

“More than I would like, and not for the sake of my wallet.” He took a long swig. “It never bothered me before, but after they got together, I witnessed just how lonely it can be for people when they part.” 

“Why no ‘again’?”

He wasn’t surprised by her question. A part of him had omitted the word intentionally if only to provoke the conversation. He sat on the couch. 

Ellyss beat him to it. “Because both situations are different. They parted, yes, but they know when it will happen. They won’t wake up one morning to find their partner just gone without a trace or even a note, right?”

“Exactly.” He took a long pull.

“You know, for a last night together, you’re really killing the mood, Jared.”

“If I remember correctly, I do that often.”

“Glad to know some things never change.” 

They sat in silence for a while. She handed him her bottle to finish when his was gone and when that one was gone she leaned into him. From time to time she’d lightly run her fingers through his curly hair. At some point he was stretch out along the couch with her atop, head tucked into the crook of his neck, Jared lightly strumming the arch of her back. They didn’t speak, just lay there enjoying their skinship. They had somehow come to a nonverbal agreeance that to speak would break the spell of it all. Considering his choice of conversation topics thus far, Jared was more than content in playing along. 


	20. Chapter 20

It had been about four weeks since Ellyss had gone back to Japan for work. Conversing through skype per her request had gone downhill rather quickly. The interface was shit, plain and simple. He had quickly created a near copy of the software he used at MI6 along with sending her a webcam because she had ‘invested a small fortune into covering her laptop with stickers’ and could therefore not replace it.

In the time since she left, they had very little time to actually talk to each other. Work swamped him on a daily basis and the time zones were a nightmare. It was only a matter of time before she would stop calling him, he was sure of it.  

 

“*yaaaawn* Jared, I’m not going to ignore you,” Ellyss argued drowsily. “I understand that your job is sporadic. Missing a few meet ups isn’t going to make me leave you.”

He didn’t miss the pause where she realized she used the phrase ‘leave you’. They hadn’t actually spoke about a label yet, he hoped it would stay that way. The fear of her leaving him had turned him into a coward.

“Honestly, what do you take me for?” she finished, slightly flustered.

“You mean you can honestly say that you’re not annoyed with our current situation?” It hadn’t been a ‘few’ missed meets, it had been every single one of them.  

“Oh I’m annoyed. Mostly at the fact that you of all people feel we aren’t connecting just because there isn’t a webcam in front of us.”

He knew she was right, but it tore at him. She was trying, she had set up the schedule to begin with at his request. He just couldn’t finish all his work by three and she wouldn’t push it further past that to ensure he had some time to sleep. “I just want to see you. Will you help me figure out a time again?” It was if his words screamed ‘I’m trying so don’t leave me!’ He felt pathetic.

“As long as we factor in sleep, sure.”

“You’ll get your eight hours, don’t worry.”

“You know I wasn’t talking about me.” She sighed, “When are you usually in bed by these days, Jared?”

“There isn’t really a schedule…”

“I figured it hadn’t changed. Look, how about I give you time frame to call me?”

Her words seemed harsh, but he knew it was because she wasn’t fully conscious just yet.

“Honestly, my job is pretty easy at the moment. I work a clean nine to five and I’m free on Wednesdays and Sundays. Let’s just try to talk on Saturdays for now, okay? I’ll be able to sleep in on Sundays, so staying up late won’t be a problem that way. Just text me when you’re free. Sound good?”

“It does actually.”

“Don’t sound so surprised! I’m gonna go back to bed now.”

“Right, and thank you.”

“Text me Saturday.”

 

Ellyss swiped her card across the ticket reader and rushed onto the train. She had nearly missed it. After Jared had called she couldn’t go back to sleep, so she lost a good three hours. She felt bad for her students, they’d gotten a bland lecture today. She didn’t even dock them for nodding off.

“Ellyss?”

Hearing English on a rush hour train was surprising. Seeing the person it belonged to was just shocking.

“...James?”

He smiled faintly. “Small world.”

“On another trip? Kathryn must be up the wall.”

“You have no idea.” His body was rigid and his eyes scanned their surroundings.

“You okay? You seem a little distracted.”

“Sorry, it’s been a long day.” He flashed a smile in apology but she felt it lacked the impact he was aiming for.

“Fret not, I’ll be out of your hair soon enough. I’m getting off in a few stations.”

“What?”

She eyed him. Maybe she had misread him. It seemed easy enough with him. “I thought I was in the way of whatever it is that you’re doing.”

He grinned. “You couldn’t be further from the truth. Are you free right now?”

“Why?”

He brushed off her weariness. “I’d like to take you to dinner, catch up.”

“Why do I feel like you’re lying?”

“Probably because you don’t trust people? Good instinct.”

“James.”

“We’ll need to do a bit of shopping first though. Where we’re going your clothes will stick out.”

“Am I getting a say in any of this?”

“I’ll make it worth your while.”

“Exactly what are you plotting?”

“We can talk about it on the way.”

“On the way to where?”

“The closest place would be in Ginza I believe.”

“I can’t afford Ginza, James.”

“Don’t worry, I can.”

James seemed like the type who didn’t hear the word ‘no’ very often. She felt like this chance meeting wasn’t chance at all.

“I’m not getting a say in this am I?”

He simply smiled. No, no she wasn’t.

 

Jared couldn’t help the grin glued to his face. He had finally finally _finally_ managed to make good on their agreement. “Admit it, you didn’t think it would work.” She was still wearing a white button down shirt. The sole proof that she was off was in the first four buttons being undone, letting her cleavage pool out rather eroticly. He wondered if any of her students were following her. He would look into it later.

“Not really, but not because of you. I was asked to take someone’s shift and I was afraid I would miss your text.” She stared at him for a while. “I should bug James to make sure you eat.”

“You have his number?” He didn’t know why, but the fact that she called him James made him a little squeamish. It probably had to do with what hearing his first name usually entailed, sex.

“He insisted after I spilled my guts.” She rested her chin in her hands. “Plus he owes me now.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I helped him out when he was here a couple days ago.”

Jared nearly choked on his earl grey. “You _what_?” He didn’t recall putting the agent on assignment. He was actually grounded due to a previous mission.

“Yeah, he said his Japanese wasn’t very good--total understatement, I haven’t heard an accent so bad, but yeah he said he needed a translator. It was funny though because as it turned out, I was tutoring the man’s daughter!”

“Small world,” he muttered with a tight smile. He was going to kill him. No, that’d be too easy. He’d get his cars towed, turn every traffic light red, empty his savings, suspend his licenses--

“And after he bought that ridiculously expensive dress and we had dinner, he had me make notes about their conversation. Of course, the people had no idea we were doing it, James made a point about it. I’m pretty sure it was illegal. Haha…”

Jared refocused his attention on her. She seemed to be hiding something. He wondered if she should pry, especially considering Bond was involved.

“I want to see you in a suit.”

“Huh?” That was abrupt.

“James was so...sexy so hot. When I saw him in the suit he got from Ginza I immediately thought, man I want to _ride_ that.”

He blinked, unsure how to respond to that.  “Ellyss, do you enjoy sex?” It had been nagging him ever since he found out she was asexual. Her most vivid descriptions always involved sex.

She didn't hesitate in answering, "Nope."

As much as he would like to delve into her reasons for her word choices, it was probably the best segway he’d ever get into another topic he’d wanted to talk about since the first time they slept together.

“Then why do it?”

She shrugged. “I like being pushed down.”

“There are other ways to be pushed down.”

“True.”

He couldn’t tell if the topic bothered her or not. “You presented the idea back in college. Why? I mean, you just said you don’t enjoy it.” Even as he asked a huge part of him was afraid of the answer.

“It's exactly because I don't enjoy it that I enjoy it. Being forced to do something you don't personally enjoy or doing it for the sake of another...these things are extremely pleasurable to me, mentally anyway. I mean you can feel how my body reacts when I'm beneath you. You send me over the edge just from the way your eyes become so vacant, so empty of your usual posh-ness and become filled with a sort of coldness that is so warm.” She smiled to herself. “My experiences with you will probably be the closest I ever get to actually enjoying sex.”

_I want to make you crave it._ He wanted to say it aloud. She would probably smile wickedly as if challenging him, but he didn't. He didn't want sex at that moment. Staring at her, a woman countries away with her sorry excuse of computer, he wanted nothing more then to press his forehead to her's. To feel her breath on his lips when she finally let it go. To rub her arms and ease the tension from her body because she could never truly be at ease around him. He wanted that touch. He wanted to give it freely whenever he wanted or it was needed. He wanted to give until she finally relaxed in his presence, fear of separation gone from her mind and his.

"Jared."

He met her eyes, unsure how long his mind had drifted. Her eyes were glassy. He must have been an open book.

There was an urgent knock at his door. It was R. That was never good.

"Sorry, I think my lunch is going to be cut short."

“Jared, wait! Just so you know, I didn't initiate our first time because I wanted to prove anything. By the time I met you, I was done trying to fit into the norm. I mean yeah it all still got to me but…” She smiled weakly, “you were the first person I felt I could be completely honest with.”

Her words stopped every thought but one. Why did their deepest conversations happen when she was out of reach? He gave an apologetic smile, sorry for more than just ending their call early. He had doubted her so many ways recently and he hated himself for it.

 

“How many times am I going to have to repeat myself before you realize you were in the wrong?”

“I admit it wasn’t professional but I refuse to think it was wrong.” James smiled innocently at his Quartermaster. Contrary to Q’s belief, running into Ellyss had actually been a complete and utter accident. He was grateful though. His Japanese wasn’t the best. She even offered to tutor him. He was honestly considering taking her up on the offer, if only to keep in touch.

“What am I going to do with you?” Q leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. “She doesn’t even know what she really helped you do.”

“Giver her some credit, she might seem slow on the uptake, but I assure you she is anything but.” He thought back to how she steered him along during their time together. Her knowledge of cultural norms and boundaries helped them in ways he hadn’t considered in his time in the country. She had thrown his whole plan out the window, calling it reckless. It was but that was beside the point.

_We’re spying on him, right?_ She had said back then.

He grinned. “When is she coming back? I’m in need of a proper tutor.”

“Who says she’s coming back,” Q stated curtly.

He cocked his head. “What?”

Q shrugged. “We haven’t talked about it.”

“When _are_ you going to talk about it?”

He stared at James incredulously. “None of this has anything to do with you.”

“Yes it does. I need a tutor and I like her.” He pulled out Q’s phone.

“What are you doing? Wait _HOW_ did you get my phone?!”

“What does it look like? I’m texting my tutor to see when she’s available.” He enjoyed the frantic look he received. It was always difficult to rile Q up, but Ellyss made it almost too easy.

<When are you free? I’d like to correct my Japanese before my next trip> March 21 3:34 pm

<<You’re still here? Wait how did you get Jared’s phone???>> March 21 3:34 pm

<I found it. And, no. Think you can make a house call?>> March 21 3:35 pm

<<lol he’s going to kill you. Also you can probably afford it, but I’m not fond enough of planes to consider that.>> March 21 3:35 pm

<Even if I paid an absurd amount of money?> March 21 3:36 pm

<I can wait until your current contract is over.> March 21 3:36 pm

<<Where’s all of this coming from? I didn’t think you’d take my offer so seriously...>> March 21 3:37 pm

He couldn’t blame her for that. He was humoring her back then, though not as much as she might have thought. He tried to come up with the words to get her to say what Q needed to hear. A few minutes when by with the typing icon on the screen before he called her and put it on speaker.

Q nearly vaulted over the desk. “Bond what are you--”

“James you’re going to raise my rates--”

“I’ll be quick, when’s your contract end?”

Q glared at him with a heat he hadn’t received even with the most broken equipment.

She sighed. “At the end of June.”

“What are your plans after that?”

“I don’t know...they’ll probably want to renew my contract. They’ve already expressed interest in bringing me on permanently, but…”

“...but?”

“You know my but! We talked about it over dinner!”

“Yes, but I need you to say it aloud.”

She fell quiet. If she hadn’t already guessed it, she definitely knew Q could hear her.

“Ellyss, I said that I’d help you, remember?”

“And I said that was a bad idea, remember?”

He chuckled at that.

“Okay,” she took a deep breath, “Jay.”

James watched the way Q all but leapt out of skin at the sound of his name. Rouge quickly climbed his neck and claimed his ears.

“I wanna live with you.”

James hadn’t expected her to be so blunt about it, but the look on his Quartermaster’s face made him grateful for it. His eyes were almost as big as his glass frames. The agent didn’t protest when Q snathched back his phone, just strode out of the office. He wondered if Q would ‘forget’ to tell Mallory about his breach of conduct for his actions. One could always hope.


	21. Chapter 21

“You don’t own a lot of things, do you?”

Ellyss signed off on the last box before sticking her tongue out at him. Shipping her things should have been a hassles, but Jared had gotten some people on it. Her life had been boxed up and shipped off in under twenty-four hours. Not to mention the fact that it arrived right as she had. It had been more than a little disconcerting.

She stretched and gave him a wide grin.  “My life’s interests lie around books and video games. There might not be many boxes, but trust me when I say that we’re gonna need more bookshelves.” 

“That can be arranged.”

She looked around the one floor apartment. It was much bigger than hers by a long shot, but her defense Japan was small. The living room had dark hardwood flooring with a surprisingly pleasant shade of blue and dark chocolate as the running theme. The couch was soft to the touch. She could easily picture him just slumping onto it for rest when his bed seemed too far away. Bookshelves of the same wood as the floor lined the light grey walls. Aside from a large flat screen nestled between them, there seemed to be no real organization to the shelves at all. They were cluttered with books, small models and other random odds and ends. Her things would fit in perfectly. 

The other rooms were one level above she noticed just before she could trip over the wooden step. The Bathroom was neat with a claw foot tub and clear shower curtain. The sink jutted out of the wall exposing its plumbing and something about it all just seemed so Jared and she hadn’t even seen his bedroom yet.

The next room wasn’t small, but it was so crammed full of projects she remembered seeing back in college that it seemed almost tiny. A series of computers dominated the far wall while a steel table stood dead center surrounded by boxes and small tables. The walls and floor was soundproofed and she could understand why when she saw the mounted power tools. Yup, this was definitely Jared’s personal heaven. 

The bedroom shared the same light grey walls and hardwood floor as the living room. A wardrobe and dresser took up one wall and the bed the other across from it. She could tell then that the master room was his workroom. There was no TV, but the plugs in his headboard was telling sign that he used electronics in bed often. Yes, this would definitely work.

She ducked back in the living room to see Jared carrying two mugs. 

He smiled sheepishly. “How was your little exploration?”

“Surprisingly good.” She took the mug with milky tea. “I don’t mean it in a bad way, just didn’t expect our things to be so...compatible?”

He hid his smile behind his own mug but his eyes were alight. “Oh?”

“Yeah. We can do this.” She stifled a yawn. It was only a little after four but her flight had been pretty late and she could never sleep on a plane. “Mind if I use the couch?”

“Take the bed,” he said, a little perplexed. “I have today off, but I still have some things to take care of,” he added, already heading to his work space.

“‘Kay. Gonna go die now.” She sat the mug on the night stand, stripped off her jeans and bra with little ceremony before flopping on the bed. It was ridiculously soft. How he managed to to get out of bed every morning was beyond her. She made a mental note to set at least two alarms for work.

She wondered when it would sink in that she had moved in with the love of her life. Even thinking of him as a lover still made her mind stutter. It was almost annoying how compatible they were. It made it seem like it was all some hallucination she’d concocted. 

She understood that him being home today would be a rarity they would savor in the future and it didn’t bother her. She was sure she’d no doubt have to reassure him of this for a while to come before he accepted it. It would be a bit hard coming home to an empty place, but as long as she could see him at least once a week she could deal with it. She did it in Japan and she could do it in London. Besides, she had Kathryn. 

She heard footsteps in the hall and sat up when she realized Jared had come to check on her.

“I’d almost forgotten,” he said by way of explanation. 

She felt the bed dip beneath his weight as he hovered over her. He pressed a kiss to her lips before resting his forehead to hers.

“Welcome home.”

Yes, she could definitely do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d like to thank you for your patience. As a fellow reader I know how frustrating it can be when an author updates rarely and/or sporadically. It’s been fun and I hope you enjoy the bonus chapter after this one!


	22. Chapter 22

Jared stared at his screen unblinking.  He was late as it was; Ellyss couldn’t kill him more at this point, so he figured he might as well finish the project before heading home.

He jumped at the sudden thud on his desk. His eyes met Eve’s with a bit of confusion. The kinds of heels she wore didn’t give room for stealth. He brushed off the thought. She was at times as enigmatic as Bond when it came to the basic laws of physics and science in general.

“Q.” She carried a wider smile than usual, never a good sign.

“Ms. Moneypenny,” he looked back to his screen. There were only a few more lines now and he was sure he could--

“I got that thing you wanted.”

He glanced at her. “What _thing_? I don’t recall asking for anything.”

“That’s what Christmas is all about.”

He blinked. _Christmas? Shit._

“Don’t tell me you forgot.” She shook her head. “I’m not even surprised actually.”

Jared pinched the bridge of his nose in response. She didn’t need to know the details of his love life. Outside of the encounter Bond had orchestrated, no one had seen Ellyss again after that. He doubted Eve was in the dark though, she had access to the cameras that dotted the space after all.

“Well here’s one you two can share.” She dangled the small green bag overflowing with tissue before him.

He eyed her smile with uncertainty. In their time together, she had never shown this particular one.  He reached for the green gift bag held out to him and dug in.  He shouldn’t have been surprised, but rouge blotched his visage all the same.

“Eve…”

She grinned like a schoolgirl. “Isn’t it wonderful? It’s got ten settings and it’s waterproof so--”

“It’s a…”

“Vibrator, yes.” Her smile took a turn for the wicked. “I heard you were looking for one.”

“Wha--I wasn’t--”

“It’s fine, really. James ended up using one on his last mission and I saw the curiosity in your eyes.”

He scowled. “Curiosity doesn’t mean I wanted one--and who buys a co-worker a sex toy?”

“A friend who wants her friend to have a bit more fun, and don’t think it’ll do all the work for you.” She moved to leave but paused. “You really should head home though, Q. It’s Christmas Eve.”

“And?” He really didn’t want to go anymore.

“I’m sure your work can wait.”

He frowned. “If the holiday is so important, why are you here?”

“I just came to drop off a present for a Quartermaster who never leaves his desk.” She parted with a gentle smile.

He shoved the box back into the bag and went back to his computer. It was a slow going process after that. How did he forget Christmas? It should’ve been obvious with the tinsel and candy canes that dominated his minions’ work stations, but he thought he had had more time. Ellyss hadn’t even mentioned it to him, though she was very forgetful too.  

Shit. He hadn’t even gotten Ellyss a present yet. It was their first Christmas together and he had already mucked it up. He checked his watch, it was well past ten so there was no way he could take her out to eat or catch a decent movie. He glanced at the bag.

For all the lack of interest she had in sex, they had been having a lot of it, but that was on him. She let him indulge whenever he showed dominance which was most likely why they had been so active... He sighed.  As much fun as rough play was, he wanted to be gentle from time to time, but would she want that? In their time together she made it clear that it wasn’t the sex that she liked but being manhandled and abused. He grimaced. These weren’t thoughts for the workplace.  He couldn’t focus. The code could wait. It was Christmas Eve after all.

 

Jared entered the apartment with a feeling of uncertainty, but the smell of rich spices put him at ease. He walked into the kitchen to see an array of colorful vegetables and a pot of what looked to be potato soup.

“And here I expected preparations for a traditional American Christmas dinner,” he said by way of greeting.

“Why would I do that?” Her eyes fell to the bag. She checked her phone and swore under her breath.

“Glad to know I wasn’t the only one who forgot.”

She scowled. “Bullshit! You have a bag!”

He glanced to the object in question. “Oh no, this was a gift. From a coworker to us.”

“Us?” She set down the spoon and moved the pot off the hot eye. “Why am I afraid?”

“You’re more distrustful of people than I am; that’s saying something.”

She brushed off his attempted distraction and pulled out the box.  “I feel like this counts as some sort of harassment.”

“Without a doubt.” He watched her carefully, unsure of how she’d react. He watched as she pulled the vibrator out of the box and held it up.  It was simple, a handle with a flexible head. She turned it over and fumbled with the buttons curiously. “This isn’t how I thought you’d react.”

She eyes didn’t leave the black object. “How did you think I’d react?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. With more surprise maybe?”

She smirked. “This isn’t the first time I’ve gotten a sex toy for Christmas, Jared.”

“Oh?” He ushered her out of the kitchen and she obliged without a thought.

“Yeah. In college, me and my friends played a Japanese dating sim. My favorite character was the German, so they go me a pierced--” She looked up as if finally noticing they weren’t in the kitchen anymore, but in their bedroom. She smirked. “Was this really from a coworker?”

“Yes, but only because she saw I was interested in them.”

“Why?”

He smiled sheepishly. “I was curious of how you’d react to one.”

She frowned. “Why?”

_Because I saw a women climax off of one without anything else._ He shrugged. “Will you try it?”

Ellyss was silent. “If I don’t like it--”

“I won’t stop.” He grinned. “Unless you really want me to,” he added as he took the device from her and weighed it in his hands.

“Please tell me you aren’t thinking of ways to improve a vibrator.”

“I have to test it first.” He pressed her shoulders till she was sitting on the edge of the bed. There, he pulled off her t-shirt and carefully unhooked her bra before moving to her shorts and underwear. He watched with a smile as her hands struggled with the want to cover herself. He enjoyed undressing her almost as much as he loved watching her blush. The rose danced under her dark skin in a way he wouldn’t tire of easily. He shrugged off his sweater and did away with his own shirt and trousers, leaving just his pants to put her more at ease.

He pressed her into the bed with a slow kiss. She followed after his lips when he pulled away but stopped when he held up their new toy. “I want to start with this, that okay?” He watched uncertainty touch her features. “Ellyss, color?”

She pursed her lips before letting out a slow breath. “Green.”

“I know it’s,” he checked the nearest clock. “Christmas now, but you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

She shook her head. “No it’s fine. I’m just not sure how I’ll react.”

Or _if_.

“Oh.” It had just occurred to him that in all their time together Ellyss had never actually felt sexual gratification. She drowned in being a bottom yes, but she had never actually felt anything sexual during well...sex. Moreover, he doubted she had managed to completely lose the complex she had had in school. He would have to talk with her about that later.

He chose his words carefully. “However you react only effects how often, if at all, we use it later on. Nothing else.”

She visibly relaxed at that and nodded. “Okay.”

He knelt between her legs and wrapped them on either side of his waist before turning the device on. The sound was louder than he expected and the verberations took to the whole device, not just the head. He would have to fix that he mentally noted. He pressed the buttons till he found a speed and setting that seemed doable. He looked to Ellyss. She was much calmer now, but still stiff. He moved slowly to give her a chance to speak if she had last  reservations but she kept quiet.

He pressed the head to her clitoris and observed her reaction.

Nothing happened for a while.

He wasn’t particularly surprised by this.  Even if she was capable of an orgasm, he doubted she’d be able to with nothing more than a few kisses. Moneypenny’s voice rang in his mind. _Don’t think it’ll do all the work, Q._

Jared wetted his lips and lowered his voice in the way he knew she loved. “Ellyss.”

He watched her struggle to meet his gaze. Worry addled at his thoughts. What if she hated him for this in the end? _No no no, she hasn’t said a color. It’s fine_.

“Relax, can you do that for me?” He wanted to kiss her but that would ruin their position. “Just think about the things I’ll do to you when this is over.”

Her eyes piqued in interest. “After?”

He nodded, allowing a smirk to play across his lips. “You’ll be so sensitive from this, and I plan to take full advantage. Just imagine. You’ll be sopping wet and I’ll be able to take you with ease and do whatever I want with you while I do.”

She closed her eyes and shivered at his words.

“I want you on my cock, riding me until you have no energy, until I can grab your hips and force you on it myself as deep as I can take you.”

He was about to pull the device away when Ellyss sucked in air with obvious surprise. Her eyebrows were knitted and her nails dug into sheets.

“When you’ve finally gathered the strength to push back, I’ll press you into the bed by your throat. I won’t let go of the hot warmth you give me even if you’re sobbing for me to stop.”

He watched as her breath became more audible and her chest began to heave.  Her mouth began to slacken until it was wide open sucking in air.  

“Imagine, I’ll tear at your breasts with my teeth, I don’t care if the skin breaks. You’re mine, and I _will_ eat my fill.”

She began to moan in a way he had never heard leave her lips. He couldn’t look away.

“Jay...too mu…” She threw her head back and arched into the toy’s head. “Can’t...it’s too much..!”

“Good.” She might not have realized it, but she was feeling something that would lead to a climax, something he realized he had wanted in the furthest recesses of his mind. He watched as she dug her nails into the sheets and bit into her hand. She didn’t know how to react. She was feeling everything for the first time.

“Look at you. Moaning as I tear you to pieces. I’ll give you new marks to remember me by. Somewhere you can’t hide it. A place that will sting no matter how you move. Why stop at one? You _will_ remember me every time you see a part of  yourself, it’s a promise.”  

She whimpered in between breaths and moans. The rise and fall of her chest sped and fluctuated. “Nn...can’t...it’s too much…Jay...please..!” Her hips bucked up and she cried out at the pressure. “I can’t..!”

He cupped her cheek with his free hand and pressed his body to hers. Her heart beat was erratic. He wanted her so badly but he knew he’d have to guide her through it. “It’s fine. It’s fine. I’m here.”--he cursed himself for slipping out of character-- “Just imagine. You know I won’t last long after that. I’ll pull out and unload on your chest. It’d be criminal to just let it stay there. I’ll lick it up and kiss you till you’ve swallowed every. Last. Drop.” She looked to him with glassy eyes before shutting them and letting the tears fall and seep into her hair.

“Breath for me.” When she breathed out, he applied more pressure. Her hand shot to the one cupping her face and her teeth tore into her lip as she tried to stifle another moan. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to sink his teeth into those full lips. “Ellyss, look at me.”

She opened her eyes hesitantly. His body was all but melded to hers now.  He upped the device’s speed and watched as she struggled to meet his gaze. He doubted she was aware of the way she was licking her lips and he would never tell her if it meant she’d do again. “Let it out. Let it out so I can do what I want with you.”

She pressed her body against his and let out an inaudible scream. Her expression would be etched into his memory.

She closed her eyes and her body grew limp.

“Ellyss…” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, afraid of what he might do if he chose anywhere else. “Are you alright?”

She looked to him with glazed eyes. “What was that?”

He smiled. “I do believe you had an orgasm.” He pulled her into his arms, she didn’t seem to have control of her body just yet. “You were beautiful. Thank you for letting me see you that way.”

“Never...again...”

He smiled into her collarbone. “Why?”

She didn’t speak for a while until she was able to breath normally. “It was too much.”

“Of course it was. You’re sensitive as it is.” He didn’t speak for a while. “Did you really hate it so much?”

“...I don’t know. It was just...alot. I don’t know how to explain it. My body felt like it was on fire. I can’t even tell if I really liked it or not. It was complete sensory overload.”

He pondered her words. “I guess that’s to be expected considering you’ve never felt anything erotic.”

“It was intense. Do you feel that every time?”

“I doubt it’s as acute as yours but, yes.” He smiled and pressed a kiss to her shoulder before sinking his teeth in. The act always seemed to calm her for reason. “Would you really not want to do that again?” he asked between each bite.

She moaned, her body was still sensitive. “Not...really, no, but if you really want to, I wouldn’t mind either. Just, not often, okay?”

“Okay.” He rose and positioned himself between her legs.

“Jay?”

“Hm?”

“Sorry I forgot Christmas.”

He marveled at the woman beneath him in wonder. Only she in the aftermath of her first orgasm with a man about to make due on all his violent promises could speak about something like forgetting Christmas. He found himself not wanting to follow through on those declarations any more. “I love you, Ellyss.”

He didn’t want to to mark her with bites but with hickies. He didn’t want to tear into her anymore, just hold her. He watched the realization of it dawn on her features a well.

She smiled sheepishly. “And I you, Jay.”

He laughed because only she would say something that strange. He pressed himself into the warmth of her and gathered her in his arms in an embrace so gentle it was almost jarring. His pace was slow but he knew it wouldn’t last. She hadn’t been the only one drowning in his fantasy. He kissed her slowly enjoying every soft press of her lips and the curve of her tongue.

She sighed at his light touches and wrapped her arms around his neck, running her finger through his messy hair, meeting his slow thrusts with her own hips. “I can do this more though,” she said when he finally let her lips go.

He kissed her again. “Perfect.”


End file.
